A Catalytic Development
by nighttime writer
Summary: Tony reminds Gibbs of someone from his past. Pre-NCIS sequel to Biological Catalyst
1. Chapter 1

Tony DiNozzo stumbled onto the crime scene, the world before him spinning with each drunken step he took. His partner and he were both given the night off by their police chief only to be called in at one o'clock in the morning due to the triple murder on the outskirts of Baltimore. Despite the fact he was on call, DiNozzo hadn't been expecting a call – it was Christmas after all. Now, it was too late to undue his previous couple of hours, and he was already on probation due to his "actions" the past couple of weeks, so in true DiNozzo fashion, he slipped on his tossed suit and waved farewell to the one night stand looking up at him in utter confusion, and caught himself a cab to the scene. What was originally intended to be a night with just two beers became a night of bourbon induced stupidity, and as he made his way to the yellow tape, the pounding in his brain increased to the point that the young detective felt like his head could very well explode.

"DiNozzo!" Tony's partner, Detective Thomas Stanton, greeted Tony at the tape, his nose scrunching at the overbearing stench of alcohol that surrounded Tony.

"You drunk again, kid?" Whyles asked, pulling the tape up so Tony could bend under.

Stanton watched as Tony attempted to crouch under the tape, only to lose his balance and fall on his butt. Stanton shook his head. It had been almost a year and a half since Tony had first stumbled onto the Baltimore P.D. task force, landing himself a promotion to detective just two months after he had started. The kid was confident, comical, a ladies man - all things that would make any guy envy the detective. And he was envied – the younger guys on the task force distanced themselves from Tony, though Tony barely noticed.

As the months progressed and as their caseload got progressively heavier, Stanton had found that he was spending more time with the newest addition to the team, and as time seemingly crawled onward, Stanton had grown to like his partner. Stanton found that the boy, nearly 25 years his junior, was more than just the average cocky bastard that the younger officer's portrayed him to be; was more than just the ladies man that Tony made himself to be; was definitely more than the same "boring person" everyone else was (like Tony said), no, there was more to this boy than meets the eye.

"Aw, shit," Tony's groan brought Stanton back to reality.

Stanton gave a roll of the eyes as he helped the taller man to his feet, almost toppling over him when Tony lurched forward unexpectedly.

"Jeez, kid, how much did you have to drink?" Stanton asked keeping a firm hand over Tony's arm.

"Just a little," Tony slurred with a groan.

Stanton shook his head disappointedly. With the holiday season fast approaching once more Tony had become increasingly more obnoxious. He sauntered into the precinct just a little bit later than usual, a Cheshire grin on his face, more vocal of his previous nights' encounter of the female kind, stay just a bit later insuring Stanton it was just to make sure the chief didn't get too mad at him for coming late. But the thing was the black circles under Tony's eyes were more pronounced as the days continued on. Their closure rates on different cases increased tenfold and upon inspection of the time sheet Stanton realized that Tony was going home in the wee hours of the morning, nothing earlier than three a.m. the past week.

After that conclusion, two weeks ago, Stanton had been forcing Tony to go home at five each afternoon for a while in hopes the boy would rest, but the following days were always met with a slightly hung over Tony. A couple times Stanton's family dinner had even been interrupted after the Louie, the bartender at Ray's, called for Stanton to pick up his partner. It was sad, in Stanton's eyes, to see such a young man so alone.

Yet, when Stanton confronted Tony about his behavior, he had immediately become defensive, deflecting Stanton's questions expertly. Stanton had literally seen the wall go up before his eyes, and the days that followed Tony had seemingly snapped back to his old self. Stanton had received no calls from Ray's since that confrontational day, and Stanton himself thought that Tony really did snap out of his little funk.

Observing the young man stumble towards the dead body, barely able to get his two feet to cooperate with him, Stanton hadn't realized how wrong he had been.

"Man, check out DiNozzo. Chief will surely fire him now!" A random officer snickered off to the side to his buddy, unaware that Stanton was still well within hearing rage.

"Mind your own business Clark," Stanton growled out shaking his head at the stupefied officer before heading towards the scene itself.

"What do we have?" Tony slurred asked the officer currently taking pictures of the crime scene.

Ray Sanders looked up at the detective observing the dilated pupils, and obvious scent of liquor on Tony's breath. Sanders scowled unhappy that the man, who was unable to even be somewhat professional, was more superior to him. Refusing to answer DiNozzo he stood, pushing past the detective, unremorseful as Tony stumbled backwards a couple steps only steadying after stumbling into Stanton's arms.

"What do we have?" Stanton repeated.

"All look like military, not sure which one though, sir," Sanders answered respectfully. "Looks like execution style. Five gun shot wounds – two on this one," Sanders pointed to the driver, "two on this one," Sanders pointed to the man in the back passenger seat, behind the driver, "and one in the passenger."

"Their navy," Tony piped up looking to Stanton, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Looks enlisted," Tony added. Both Stanton and Sanders looked over at the younger man with confusion. "You can tell by their uniforms. Kind of forgot how to tell their ranking though," Tony babbled. "Should call NCIS…why the heck are there six?" Tony added more to himself than for the other two.

Sanders shook his head in disgust. "Sir?" he asked turning to Stanton.

Stanton sighed, rubbing his forehead with one hand, his eyes never leaving his young partner, who was currently looking a little green. "Call NCIS," Stanton said waving Sanders away.

Stanton waited until Sanders left before taking Tony by the arm and pulling him aside, ignoring the fact he was practically dragging the younger man. This was by no means the first time that Tony had shown up drunk to a crime scene. In fact, the boy was already on probation due to his alcoholic tendencies. Last week he had been placed on probation after he puked on the chief's shoes at a crime scene. Originally chief had half the mind to force the boy into those rehab programs, but Stanton had told the chief he would handle Tony.

"Listen kid! You need to get a handle on you because if the chief comes out here for this, I can't protect your hide this time!" Stanton told Tony seriously. "Come on, you knew we were on call. What the heck were you thinking kid?"

"I'm thinking that it's Christmas," Tony said sadly.

Stanton frowned. Tony had at one point, Thanksgiving Day to be exact, drunkenly confessed that Stanton was the closest thing he had to family. His mother had died when he was fourteen and his father had disowned him at fifteen and he had been on his own since then. It apparently happened on Christmas day and this Christmas marked fifteen years. That was all Tony had said of the subject and Stanton knew enough not to bring it up. He had offered his own house to the young man for Christmas only to be turned down. Seeing Tony in his current state, Stanton realized he should have tried harder to convince the man.

"Tony…" Stanton started empathetically.

Tony looked at Stanton funnily before suddenly pushing the older man aside. Seconds later he heaved the contents of his empty stomach onto the snowy ground. With a shake of the head Stanton steadied Tony as he continued heaving, keeping Tony from plopping face first in his own pile of vomit. After about five minutes Tony finally straightened, his face pale and sweaty as he turned away from the other officers that now surrounded him, laughing at him.

"NCIS is on their way," Sanders stated to Stanton.

Stanton nodded his thanks before turning to the officers surrounding them and yelling at them to get back to work or to go home. He gently led his partner towards one of the patrol cars practically shoving the boy into the warm car when Tony started protesting.

"Just rest until the feds show ok, kid?" Stanton sighed.

Tony frowned shaking his head in attempts to stand back up, but the world spun again and he had to force his eyes shut to stop the world from spinning once more. Stanton sighed and stood watch next to the patrol car staring any of the officers down if they got too close. The others were talking freely amongst themselves about Tony, betting to see how long it would take until Tony was fired.

Stanton hoped that it was just a seasonal slump – that Tony would bounce back like the boy seemed to do. Last year around Christmas time, Tony had been suspended after picking a fight with a man at a bar. Luckily, the man was another Baltimore Cop and it had been resolved in house, but no, Tony was none to be the loose cannon. The only reason he hadn't been fired yet was because Stanton and he had the second highest close rate in the unit, and he was damn good at his job. However, that would not be enough if Tony continued on like this.

Most of the cops that had first responded had gone home to be with their families and only a couple remained by the time NCIS arrived. It was already four o'clock Christmas morning when Stanton peeked into the cruiser to see his partner awake. He tapped on the window to signal NCIS's arrival before going to meet them at the tape.

A man with salt and pepper hair came stalking towards the scene first, a scowl embedded in his facial features, his right hand, firmly gripping a large cup of coffee.

"NCIS?" Stanton asked greeting the man.

"Agent Gibbs," Gibbs confirmed lifting the tape and stepping into the crime scene. "That's my medical examiner Doctor Mallard," Gibbs said pointing at the man grabbing equipment at the back of the van. "That's Agent Wilson," Gibbs said dismissively pointing to a groggy young man hauling what Stanton assumed to be both Gibbs' and Wilson's equipment. "What do you have?"

Stanton led the way to the vehicle introducing himself before explaining the current situation the best he could. He was in the middle of explaining that it was actually his young partner that had told them to call when Tony had flown from besides the victims' car to the corner, hurling onto the sidewalk.

"Who's that?" Gibbs questioned with a shake of the head.

"That's the detective that told us to call you," Stanton sighed. "You'll have to excuse him – stomach flu."

"Tell him he's compromising the crime scene," Gibbs ordered.

Stanton nodded pointing to the car. "That's it, Agent Gibbs. Have at it. I'm just going to check on him if you don't mind."

Gibbs' eyes narrowed on the tall man retching at the edge of the scene. The laughter from the other officers didn't go unnoticed to the marine. He watched as the detective stumbled before losing his balance completely and falling just besides the vomit infested snow. At that point Stanton didn't wait for Gibbs' permission and he rushed over, checking on the man before helping him to his feet.

"DiNozzo's just a drunken fool anyways. Don't even know why chief keeps him around," a passing officer muttered to another.

Gibbs' watched as the man practically fussed over the detective, his eyes full of fatherly concern. Gibbs' shook his head before yanking the camera from Wilson and beginning the long process of processing the crime scene. With any luck they would be given jurisdiction of the case and he wouldn't have to work with either Stanton or the clearly drunken detective.

DiNozzo stepped up besides Gibbs as the camera flashed causing DiNozzo to stumble back, momentarily blinded by the light. Once DiNozzo's eyes focused Gibbs felt his heart skip a beat. They were strikingly similar to another pair of green eyes – ones that had captured and broken his heart so long ago. But no, they had to be different after all the last time he had seen those eyes was fifteen years ago on…

"Detective Anthony DiNozzo," Tony forced out introducing himself after swallowing the lump in his throat.

* * *

A/N Reviews appreciated.


	2. Chapter 1 pt 2

Tony gave a defeated sigh letting his hand drop to his side as his father just stared at him, any hint of recognition unapparent behind the angry glare. He tried his best not to be wounded – after all, it had been fifteen years since they had last seen each other. In that time span Tony had filled out, his long legs no longer disproportional to his once lanky frame. His hair had stopped growing in wisps and was darker in hue. He had grown another couple of inches and was taller than his paternal counterpart. Yes, it made sense, Tony reasoned, that his father did not recognize him.

Stanton clasped Tony's shoulder, coming up from behind him. Tony missed the pointed look that Stanton had sent Gibbs' way as he led the young detective away from the crime scene.

"NCIS is a bit arrogant," Tony mumbled, schooling his features back to neutrality.

In truth the effects of the alcohol was now wearing off and in its place was just the constant pounding headache that seemingly accompanied each morning as of late. The sun had started to peek just over the horizon, falling against the white snow that still covered the ground, making it seem later than it really was.

Shouldn't fathers know their child regardless of age? Shouldn't they recognize their child if they had raised them? Tony's head spun as he tried to reason out his own father's reaction. He swayed and Stanton caught him, his eyes clearly etched with worry.

"Tony, you're really starting to scare me. How much did you drink last night?" Stanton asked leaning in so no one else could hear.

"I don't know," Tony sighed. He brought his fingers to the bridge of his nose, squeezing his eyes shut as he leaned against a cruiser.

"Let me talk to NCIS and then I'll give you a ride home. You think you can just stay here for a couple of minutes?" Stanton asked glancing over his shoulder to find Gibbs watching them.

Gibbs watched the interaction between the two partners noting Stanton's tense stance. Tony's face was contorted in pain as he cradled his head in his hands, mumbling something incoherent to Stanton. Gibbs watched as Stanton took Tony giving him a gruff hug, Tony frozen throughout the interaction. He watched as Stanton slapped Tony in the back of the head, Tony's eyes snapping open before a hesitant smile broke on his face. The entire time the thought of another Tony fresh in the NCIS agent's mind. Tony – Tony Gibbs – would be about Tony DiNozzo's age if he had lived. Gibbs wondered if he'd look like this Tony – if his hair would be darker, if he finally grew into those obnoxiously long legs and big feet that seemingly appeared out of nowhere, if he'd be a little taller. There was something about this Tony that screamed Tony, _his Tony_. The pain of his loss always greater around Christmas time and not even wife number four could ease away the memories.

"Jethro, may I venture to question what Stephanie and yourself have planned for this holiday?" Ducky's question interrupted Gibbs' thoughts.

Gibbs reluctantly turned to face the medical examiner. Ducky's expression curious as he looked up expectantly at him. _Stephanie, _aka wife number 4. It had only been two months since their arrival back into the states from their year-long stay in Moscow and yet it seemed they were already on the rocks. When he had admitted earlier that morning/late last night that he didn't feel like celebrating Christmas with Stephanie's family it had started another fight. She had left right afterwards claiming she wanted a festive holiday and she was going to her parents' house without him. She didn't look back when he had popped open the bottle of bourbon while she ascended up the basement stairs; didn't say good-bye before she slammed the front door shut; and hadn't called when she hopefully arrived at her parents house an hour and a half later. Then again, it was usually this time of year when wife number two and three had called it quits.

"Stephanie's at her parents," Gibbs admitted.

"Oh my," Ducky said noting the expression on Gibbs' face. "Well then we should hurry up if you are to meet her there. It is after all a…"

"I'm not going, Duck," Gibbs stated ending the conversation.

Ducky's eyes widened at the abrupt end. He exchanged a look with Wilson, which Gibbs ignored. Gibbs sighed noting that it was already seven o'clock Christmas morning and that unlike him, Ducky and Wilson were both excited for the Christmas season, and they both had family to celebrate it with.

"Why don't we pack up. I'll talk to metro and we can get out of here," Gibbs said before walking towards the two detectives.

Stanton was currently talking on the phone in the cruiser while Tony was leaned against it, his head in his arms.

"Let me guess you want jurisdiction," Tony's voice surprised Gibbs.

Gibbs was unaware that Tony knew of his approaching presence. The boy had given off the impression that he was lost in his own little world. Still, unwilling to let that throw him off balance, Gibbs stopped besides Tony leaning against the cruiser, his back turned to the boy as he knocked impatiently on the window to grab Stanton's attention.

The smell of bourbon and sawdust wafted to Tony's nostrils – the smell of his father, and Tony had to stagger back as the scent overwhelmed him. Gibbs smelled like home. Gibbs turned in time to see the man stagger and instinctively he reached out to help him. He watched as Tony jumped back as if he had been burned, stumbling and falling as he moved away from Gibbs.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Gibbs demanded suddenly finding himself angry at the younger detective.

"Nothing," DiNozzo huffed out quickly getting to his feet.

"Metro cops…" Gibbs said rolling his eyes and knocking harder against the window.

"We want shared jurisdiction," DiNozzo stated quickly composing himself.

"Shared jurisdiction my ass. I'm not sharing no case with a cop who can barely hold himself up," Gibbs growled out.

"It's our case. The only reason you guys got wind of it is because we called you," DiNozzo pointed out his voice just as loud as Gibbs.

Gibbs stepped forward in attempts to scare the younger man to submission, only to find that DiNozzo took a step forward too. He got in the younger man's face, but it seemingly did nothing, only making him more defiant. He stared back at Gibbs, green eyes daring him to do something.

"It's my case," Gibbs growled out. "Metro has no jurisdiction. Those are navy. Last time I checked we were _Naval_ Criminal Investigative Service. _You_ are Baltimore Police Department."

"Last time _I_ checked. _Your_ crime scene is in _Baltimore_ so therefore we have just as much jurisdiction," Tony stated crossing his arms in front of him.

From 50 feet away both Wilson and Ducky stared, their jaws hanging open as the young man just continued staring defiantly back at Jethro. Most men would be running by this time, but no, the hung over detective just stood, his arms crossed, almost like a child unwilling to give in.

"Is that normal?" Agent Wilson asked Ducky.

"Definitely not, my boy. This is the first time I've ever seen anyone stand up to Jethro," Ducky said shaking his head at the scene before him.

Stanton rushed out of the car jumping between the two men. Gibbs watched his eyes coming together in disbelief as Tony broke into a smile. Gibbs growled frustrated only to find Tony's smile grow wider, as if he knew something that Gibbs did not.

"Our chief talked to the director. We're sharing jurisdiction, but it's your lead," Stanton said turning to Gibbs. "I'm sorry about him. Ignore him."

Gibbs huffed and at that moment Tony busted out laughing.

"Are you still drunk or something?" Gibbs demanded wanting to know what was so funny about his own expressions.

"No, but you look like you're going to pop a blood vessel," Tony stated pointing to Gibbs' face. He stopped laughing when Gibbs started back towards him. "Ok ok! I'll play nice! Looks like we're working together after all, _boss."_

Gibbs growled before whirling around. "I'm not your _boss!_" Gibbs shouted out.

_But you are my father_. Tony stated in his mind.

* * *

A/N - Hey guys this is still chapter 1. I decided to make it a little longer because the set up in the first one led to a lot of questions. Thank you so much for the reviews. They really make my day. I have finals this week and next week so excuse the lack of updates. I'm going to try and update more consistently during break. I hope you guys like this chapter and I hope it answers a little more of the questions. This one might go a little slower than biological catalyst. Also look forward to a revision of that coming in the near future. Please continue reviewing because reviews definitely make writing worth while. I'm having a hard time keeping this story in my mind so it's definitely a lot harder to write. Reviews are definitely going to be the main source of inspiration for this part even though I know it shouldn't. Once again, thanks you guys!

Liz

P.S.

Response to **SilverNY57** - Hey! Just wanted to say thanks for your review! I always love your reviews because they are ALWAYS helpful. Straight forward and honest and definitely always humbling. I tried emailing you but I don't think it worked. I have a couple of ideas for this story and where it's going and I'd love to bounce those ideas off you if you don't mind. Your feedback always helps!


	3. Chapter 2

Disclaimer - the plot is mine. 'Tis all

* * *

Tony found himself at an all too familiar bar, exchanging greetings with all too familiar faces, before taking an all too familiar seat at the bar and ordering himself an all too familiar drink. The idea that Christmas was to be spent once again alone with his memories had driven Tony to the bar determined to drown those damn memories if only for the night. He was so engrossed in his goal to forget that he hadn't noticed the man at the end of the bar, staring at him, blue eyes boring into the side of his head as the man studied him openly. It had taken the bartender to point out the silent man before Tony's eyes finally wandered over before landing on a set of all too familiar blue eyes.

Tony gave a goofy grin taking a swig of his beer before standing and making his way to the moody agent, ignoring the scoff of disapproval that emanated from the older man's throat as he toppled into the bar stool besides him.

"Agent Gibbs," Tony finally greeted offering his hand out to the older man.

Gibbs looked down at the hand, giving a gruff grunt before slamming his head back and swallowing the remnants of his drink. He resisted the urge to growl out when Tony simply took his hand back un-phased by his demeanor.

Gibbs had spent the better half of the night searching Baltimore for an open diner. Finally, after hours of searching he had given up and walked into what seemed like the one open bar in town. Quickly spotting the darkest corner of the place he had ordered himself a basket of fries and a glass of bourbon fully intending to drown away his own Christmas memories.

Ducky and Wilson had driven back to Washington to spend the holidays with their family. The snowstorm that had arrived in the middle of the day made it impossible for him to drive to Stephanie's parents' place, and for that he was oddly grateful. Since that Christmas fifteen years ago Gibbs had made it a priority to spend Christmas alone with his memories.

"You going to eat all of that?" Tony asked interrupting Gibbs' thoughts.

-Flashback-

Gibbs pulled up in front of the elementary school watching as Tony rushed towards the run-down truck, his hair sticking out from under his winter hat.

Gibbs barely had time to unlock the door before Tony came flying in, jumping into the seat before attacking him in a hug. He had gone off on a TDY and he had returned earlier that morning in time for Tony's last day of school before Christmas break. He had spent the day with Kelly watching as the little girl wobbled towards him for the first time. He fed laughed as Kelly squealed out "da-da," her voice music to his ears, no matter the amount of times she said it in the time he had been home. He had spent as much time with her before reluctantly placing her back into Shannon's grasps, reassuring the girl that he'd be home soon.

Gibbs laughed as Tony's wet kisses brought him back to reality, the tears of happiness on Tony's face enough to bring the marine to tears as well.

"Hey there buddy!" Gibbs said with a smile hugging the kid tightly to him.

"Daddy, you're back!" Tony declared finally pulling away from him.

Gibbs laughed taking the small hands placed on his cheeks into his own bigger, calloused ones, taking them to his lips and kissing them before pulling the small boy into another big hug.

"Yup!" Gibbs said with a smile.

"So you're back from your TDY then?" Tony asked hopefully.

Gibbs nodded. "That's right little one."

He laughed heartily as Tony pumped his fists into the air. It took another few minutes before Tony settled down enough to buckle him in securely. He listened as Tony animatedly told him stories of the last few weeks, laughing as the boy stumbled over a few words every now and then.

"Daddy, I'm hungry!" Tony declared watching as they passed into the busier part of town.

Gibbs rolled into the McDonalds a few blocks from Tony's school ordering a happy meal for Tony and a big mac for himself before sitting down in a booth.

"And then Lisa kissed me! And she got cooties so I thought it was really gross, but mommy just laughed!" Tony huffed out, crossing his arms in front of him.

"Give yourself a couple of years buddy, and then tell me if you think it's still gross," Gibbs said reaching over the table and ruffling the boy's hair.

Tony shook his head in disagreement, his hair flapping everywhere earning another laugh from Gibbs. Tony sighed turning his small bag of French fries over only to have the remnants of salt crystals fall from the bag. He frowned momentarily before his eyes wandered over to his father's tray.

Green eyes looked up expectantly at Gibbs – a pout perfecting the pitiful expression, "you going to eat all of that, daddy?"

End of flashback

"Gibbs?" Tony's voice brought Gibbs back to the present, green eyes looking at him expectantly, a small pout perfecting the pitiful expression on the thirty-year-old's face. "Are you going to eat all of that?"

Gibbs shook his head the corners of his lips breaking into a smirk despite himself. If it had been anyone else Gibbs would have hogged the basket to himself, but the look was so hauntingly familiar that he found himself pushing the fries towards the middle, even offering the ketchup knowing that _his_ Tony was an avid fan of ketchup.

Gibbs watched as the man's face lit up suddenly seeing, not the thirty-year-old man, but the small six-year-old boy from his memories. He watched almost fondly as the man covered half the basket in ketchup before grabbing three fries and drowning them in ketchup and shoving them into his mouth so much like the child Gibbs once knew.

"What are you doing at a bar on Christmas, DiNozzo?" Gibbs finally asked, breaking his self-imposed silence.

The unmistakable look of hurt flashed momentarily in the green eyes and if Gibbs had blinked he was sure he would have missed it. Tony tensed and suddenly the basket became a lot more interesting as he trained his eyes on the salt crystal that were gathered at the ends of the fries.

"Not really in the Christmas spirit," Tony answered, his voice suddenly hoarse, his words carefully chosen.

There was something in the tone, the posture, the _expression_ in the boy's face that suddenly tugged at Gibbs' paternal strings urging the man to take the suddenly overgrown boy into his arms and chase away his demons. Gibbs' watched as Tony fought back tears wondering what mysteries the boy could be hiding. Without much thought, Gibbs clasped the boy's shoulder, surprise radiating not only from Tony, but him as well at the contact.

"I know what you mean, kid," Gibbs sighed, his hand falling back to his side.

"How about you? Why are you at a bar on Christmas?" Tony asked curiously.

"Don't really have the need to celebrate the holidays I guess," Gibbs admitted before ordering himself a refill.

"Me too," Tony sighed. "Me too."

Hours later Tony fell against the door of his apartment, letting the momentum of his fall slam the old door shut. The sounds of Christmas music quietly snuck its way past the paper-thin walls from the neighboring apartments, children's laughter drowning out the silence present in his apartment. Tears fell freely from his face as he fought the waves of emotions that threatened to overcome him with each breath. The pain of being so close to his father after fifteen years ripped open old wounds as he hiccupped in attempts to catch his breath. It had been a bittersweet reunion with Tony wanting nothing more than for his father to open up his arms in open invitation for a hug Tony didn't know both needed. His own father's pain evident to Tony as they exchanged Christmas stories of a past neither knew they both shared. Each one of Tony's stories altered a little as to not give himself away, unknowingly hurting his father as Gibbs falsely realized with each fabricated story, this was _not his _Tony. . Gibbs found himself talking to the boy for the first time of his own son, secrets of a life not even Ducky or Wilson knew free flowing from his mouth as the bourbon made it easy to share the most intimate pain he had with the stranger.

In the end, both men had shared a taxi towards their destinations. By the time the taxi had pulled up in front of Gibbs' motel, both were too lost in their past memories to even acknowledge each other

_Fuck Christmas_

It had been fifteen years since their last encounter. Fifteen years since Tony had spent a Christmas with anyone besides strangers, and what hurt was that when Tony stepped back and thought about it, he had shared _this _Christmas with a stranger. His father was not the same man he had left fifteen years ago. Then again, he could hardly say he was the same boy his father had turned his back on as well. No, just as the grey hair and wrinkles had taken away his father's youth so had the facial hair and hardened lines that marred his own youthful face taken away his. Tony realized that fifteen years ago both his father and him were really just naïve individuals, grieving for a lost neither one could come back from.

Tony felt the anger welling up as he remembered his father's drunken confession of marrying three different women after his "death." He had fought to keep his tone light in spite of feeling of betrayal that coursed through his vein each time Gibbs mentioned his newest marriage, which was already on the rocks. At times he had balled his own hands into fists in restraint from coursing the man out. Then again, that's where Gibbs had changed as well. The father that Tony had known loved his mother with his entire existence. They were passionately in love and unquestioningly devoted to each other flicking death off in the face, as their love transcended even that. However, that was fifteen years ago.

The Christmas following his sixteenth birthday – the first Christmas without either his mother or father – Tony had spent the day at a group home. The one after that one was spent with a foster family who were all over their newborn to even realize that Tony hadn't stepped a foot outside his room that entire day. Once college came he had spent each holiday at the local motel until the dorms opened up and after college he had found that his apartment provided an escape from the Christmas cheer. It was the loneliest time of year for Tony – the time when it was hardest for him to follow the rules of his new identity - which was so mercifully provided by the director of NCIS and the FBI.

Truth be told, it was Macy who had eventually taken mercy on him. It was Macy who had ripped apart the last remnants of his family and his childhood who had offered his father freedom. After all the pain and suffering Macy had allowed for his father and him to go through it was also her that offered them both redemption. It was Macy who had burned the evidence against Gibbs; who had approached Tony with the chance to clear his father's name on the condition that he enter the witness protection program and turn away from his father. It was the hardest choice of Tony's life, but the only witness that could possibly tie his father to the murder was Tony. Macy pulled strings and recruited Mike Franks' previous probie Fornell, who had transferred to FBI after his short stint at NCIS to help falsify Tony's death. It was with the help of both FBI and NCIS directors who went against protocol to help clear Gibbs' name and in the end it was Tony who had willingly paid the price of losing his remaining family to protect him.

* * *

A/N - Reviews are read and welcomed. In fact I'm going to be replying to them right now. Bare with me on this one. It answers a LOT of questions. But not nearly all of them. I really would love to hear what you guys think especially of this chapter because there is actually a LOT going on. Thanks for the reviews.


	4. Chapter 3

Tony awoke to the sound of keys slipping into the keyhole, unlocking the front door. He groaned, squinting as the sun's early rays fell into his apartment, brightly landing onto his prone figure on the floor. He wiggled just far enough away so that the door didn't hit him when it flew open, scrunching his eyes in attempt to fight off the ever-constant headache that accompanied each morning for the last month.

"Tony!" Tobias Fornell's annoyed voice broke through the haze and Tony groaned once more, reluctantly opening one eye, grateful to see Fornell's body blocking most of the sun's rays.

Fornell shook his head, helping heave the younger man into a sitting position. He carefully schooled his expression to one of neutrality noting the black bags under Tony's eyes, ignoring the feel of skin and bones in his grip.

"Hey Fornell," Tony mumbled.

Fornell's eyes widened pulling back, momentarily overwhelmed by the stench of alcohol apparent in Tony's breath.

"Hell of a Christmas?"

Tony sighed. "Hell of a Christmas."

Fornell rolled his eyes before pulling Tony slowly to a standing position, supporting most of the younger man's weight as he lost the battle to stand upright. He ignored the messy state of the apartment, silently counting all the empty beer bottles and glasses that littered the small studio. He threw a couple of dirty clothes from the couch before finally setting Tony down.

After placing some newspaper around Tony in case he vomited he went into the kitchen for a glass of water, grabbing two Tylenols that he found next to the toppled over bottle on the island. The dishes were pilled high in the sink and he scoffed in disbelief at the filth that the apartment was hidden under.

This time of year had always been the hardest for Tony. Understandingly, Fornell had made it his obligation to check on the younger man the day after Christmas – usually to tend to a hung over Tony.

Fornell returned to Tony placing two Tylenols into his right hand before shoving the glass in the other. He stood besides the couch his hands to his waist as Tony clutched his hands to his head swearing on everything on the planet that he'd never drink again.

"-as long as…" Tony rambled.

"Ah, cut it out, kid," Fornell swiped waving his hand in the air. "We both know that isn't true."

Tony opened his mouth then shut it again. The truth of the statement hit him hard as he fought through the haze of yesterday's events. He sunk back into the couch cushions giving a loud groan, his eyes shut in attempts to shield away the blinding light.

"NCIS was called to the scene yesterday," Tony mumbled.

"Oh yeah?" Fornell asked standing from his seat besides Tony.

Fornell started to collect some of the empty bottles of beers in his arm, shuffling around Tony as he waited patiently for the younger man to continue on with his story. Tony huffed out what sounded like some sort of agreement before quieting once more. Fornell listened to Tony's breathing wondering if the boy had fallen asleep. He was about to say something when Tony's voice filled the air once more.

"My dad responded."

"Your dad?" Fornell asked in surprise. "Did he recognize you?"

Tony let out a bitter laugh that pierced through Fornell's body. "Nope!" Tony stated, his voice hard.

Fornell sighed moving towards the kitchen and placing the bottles on the counter. He made his way over to the couch once more, his heart reaching out to the young man who had become like a son to him over the years. He said nothing as he watched the emotions on Tony's face as the boy tried desperately to get a handle on them. He shook, but no tears escaped from his shut eyes.

Fornell opened his mouth before closing it once more, unsure of what to say. He let his hand fall onto Tony's shoulder in silent support, but was hyper aware of the silence that seemed to fill the apartment.

"It's stupid you know? I mean fifteen years is a long time. Hell, I don't recognize myself," Tony stated after awhile.

"I'm sorry kid," Fornell offered.

"And the thing that sucks is that I can't do nothing. I have to pretend I'm this Anthony DiNozzo character. I have to pretend that he don't mean nothing to me – that he's just another fed and I'm just another detective," Tony went on ignoring Fornell.

"You shouldn't be working this case. How did NCIS get wind of it anyways? Didn't I tell you anything like this you're supposed to call me first?" Fornell asked.

"I was drunk. I wasn't thinking when I told them to call NCIS. I just – it's going to be a hell of a month or however long this case is going to take," Tony sighed.

Tony opened his eyes for the first time, immediately landing on Fornell's own sympathetic ones. He looked away in favor of his watch, his eyes shutting once more when he read the time. "And I'm late for work. Again."

Fornell looked down at his own watch surprised that an hour had already passed since he had arrived. It was now seven o'clock in the morning, the sun now fully risen and the sounds of the nieghbor's kids filtered through the thin walls.

"Go shower. I'll give you a lift to the department and I'll talk to your boss," Fornell said slapping Tony's knee supportively. "You've got yourself 30 minutes before I retract the offer and leave," he added when Tony didn't many any moves to get up.

It took another minute before Tony finally lifted himself from the couch. Fornell sat until he heard the sound of running water. He sighed rubbing his face as he once again looked around at the state of the apartment. Reflecting over the past couple of years Fornell started to pick up some of the trash in hopes of putting a dent in the amount of cleaning and sanitation the place desperately needed.

Flashback

Fornell sighed opening the front door to the boys' home Tony was currently staying at. It was a big enough place run by an old woman for ten boys to stay in. Tony was the second oldest of the boys in the house, but was also the newest addition. Given Tony's circumstance everyone agreed that it was best he was placed far from Washington so they had placed him in the Rhode Island foster care system. After calling in a few favors Fornell had been able to wrangle Tony a place in the Rhode Island military school for boys for the following semester. He had flown up for the weekend to tell the boy the news personally.

And to check on him.

"Agent Fornell," Kim Anderson's frail voice greeted him at the entryway to the living room. "Glad you made it. The storm has been terrible!"

Fornell nodded shaking the lady's hand before allowing himself to be led to a couch. It was only six thirty in the morning the day after Christmas and the house was still relatively quiet.

"I was afraid I wasn't going to. My flight kept getting delayed," Fornell stated.

There was coffee waiting for him on the table, steam rising from the warm mug. He pointed to it although he already visited enough times to know that Kim's coffee was good enough that even Gibbs would love it.

"So how is he?" Fornell asked after taking a generous sip.

Kim sighed looking upwards, a frown quickly forming on her face. She shook her head before looking back at Fornell. "He's not adjusting as well as we hoped," Kim said carefully.

"What do you mean?" Fornell sighed somewhat expecting the answer but hoping for something different.

"Well yesterday I had to help him to his bed after he came home absolutely drunk out of his mind. On Christmas too! The boy's just hurting and I'm afraid I don't know what else to do with him. He goes off on the younger ones. Truthfully, I'm glad you called, because otherwise I would have been calling you," Kim stated.

"That's why I'm here," Fornell stated. "Is he sleeping?"

Kim opened her mouth to say something just as the door opened to reveal the boy in question.

Fornell looked up to see that Tony had once again grown a couple of inches. His eyes hid behind a curtain of hair. His clothes, which he had clearly outgrown, stopped short, and his appendages hung out the end awkwardly. Tony stopped mid-stride surprised to see Fornell in the living room. His eyes widened behind the hair as he pushed his long locks aside to get a better view.

"Hey Fornell," Tony greeted guardedly.

Fornell stood and went over to shake the boy's hand. He noted that the small clothes still seemingly engulfed the young man aware that the boy probably didn't gain a single pound through his growth spurt.

"Hell of a Christmas?" Fornell sighed.

"Hell of a Christmas."

End of Flashback

The ride to Tony's precinct was a silent one. Tony had put on his best suit and had slicked his trimmed hair back with gel. To the world he looked like a million dollars. He stepped out of the vehicle and immediately Fornell saw the wall go up. Fornell watched as Tony swaggered into the precinct, a smile on his face as he winked unabashed at the cute secretary in front. Fornell followed behind aware that Tony's act was so good that different cops passed by him with envy clearly written on their faces. He listened as Tony loudly proclaimed for the world to hear how great a night he had last night. And then he watched as Tony's stride came to a screeching halt, watched as his stance tensed just a bit more, his story trailing off as he greeted his boss good morning. Fornell stepped forward from behind Tony his eyes immediately locking with Jethro's and he sighed knowing that he wouldn't be getting back to his own office anytime soon.

* * *

AN - I know I haven't updated in awhile and for that I'm sorry. I just have writers block and any review to get me back into the swing of things would be great! Its really the reviews that pushed this chapter to get published. Thanks once again for all them and I hope to get the next chapter up soon!

Liz


	5. Chapter prologue

Gibbs' eyes traveled across the words in the file for what seemed like the hundredth time in as little as five minutes, his mind currently on the conversation happening five feet away from him. Detective DiNozzo and Fornell were apparently discussing a case that DiNozzo had helped Fornell with years ago. Yet, neither of them had a file open, or a pen and pad to take notes on, or anything that suggested they were talking about a case. Gibbs' gut churned with curiosity as he forced his eyes to stay on the file in front of him. Their voices were low enough that even Gibbs' acute sense of hearing could not pick up on any of their words, much to Gibbs' displeasure. Not to mention they were huddled so close together with their heads bent low. No, Gibbs' knew enough to know that their case was non-existent; he just needed to know why.

Suddenly, Fornell pulled Tony into a quick hug, before the two pulled away. Gibbs watched as Tony pushed off the wall he was leaning against before announcing to the room he was going to hit the head. Gibbs waited for Fornell to say good-bye to Tony's superior before standing up and making his way over to the FBI agent. Without saying either saying a word, Gibbs followed Fornell towards his car.

Gibbs watched as Fornell turned on the car, waiting expectantly for an explanation. However, Fornell didn't offer one and just as he was about to pull off Gibbs grabbed for the passenger door handle and slid into the seat.

"What do you want, Gibbs?" Fornell asked annoyed.

"Information on Detective DiNozzo," Gibbs stated plainly.

"Information? What kind of information? Kid's a good detective. Lousy as hell when it comes to obeying the rules," Fornell offered.

Gibbs laughed lightly, shaking his head at the information. "You know that's not what I meant. How do you know him? What's his story?"

Fornell shrugged. "No story. We worked a case together while he was in Peoria. We got a couple of leads that lead to nowhere. Eventually the case turned cold. He still calls once in awhile to ask how the case is going. Kid's dedicated as hell."

"Kid's a drunk," Gibbs countered harshly.

Fornell said nothing, his expression turned somber. Images of various times when he had to drag Tony from the floor rushed back to the surface; times when he had found Tony laying in his own vomit; times when Tony had showed up at the FBI agent's door too drunk to remember how he even got there. The kid had been hurting for as long as Fornell could remember, but drinking was Tony's way of coping. It sure as hell wasn't the right coping mechanism. In fact, it scared the living daylights out of the FBI agent. He knew that Tony couldn't continue living life the way he did. Alone. Hurt. Depressed as all hell. Drunk the majority of his waking state. Stuff like that gets to even the strongest of men.

Gibbs didn't understand, though. Maybe Tony was a drunk, but Gibbs didn't have the right to judge Tony. If Tony was a drunk it was because of Gibbs. It was his fault.

"His dad did a number on him," Fornell stated, his eyes locking with Gibbs'. "He's a good kid, Gibbs, and a hell of a detective. Trust me."

Gibbs oddly felt the wind knocked out of him. Fornell was staring at him as if it was his fault that Tony's dad messed up. His fight-or-flight senses kicked in and Jethro found himself wanting to defend his actions, deflating when he realized he had no actions to defend. His son was dead.

"I don't care how good he is. If he messes with my case, I'll get this kid working cases in Juno, Alaska," Gibbs warned before yanking the door open.

Fornell was about to drive off when he changed his mind and rolled down the window, "Hey, Gibbs!"

"What?"

"Do me a favor, watch his six."

* * *

A/N: You guys...it short I know. But I'm really struggling with my writers block. I figured maybe an influx of reviews would shake it. I literally have 6 different versions of this chapter but I couldn't get anything out. I figured maybe if I just put the interaction between Fornell and Gibbs it'll get the juices flowing. It took me an hour to write this. Usually it takes an hour to write 6 or 7 pages. I just really appreciate the fact so many people are reading this story that I really just wanted to put something down on paper. Please continue reading, because the story is not done. I assure each and every one of you that the actual story line itself is done. I know how the story is going to end. I just hope you all stick with me until then. Reviews would be great. Suggestions on how to shake this horrid writer's block would be appreciated. Once again, sorry for such a short chapter.

Liz


	6. Chapter 4

"It doesn't make sense, DiNozzo!" Gibbs finally shouted, silencing the younger man momentarily.

Wilson and Stanton exchanged weary glances as past efforts to stop the escalating tension in the room had gone unnoticed by Tony and Gibbs. Both were currently arguing about which of the two prime suspects had the better motive. Within the past three hours disagreements about who were suspects and who weren't, who to pick up, who would be the one making the arrest, what was for dinner, coffee, you name it, it was argued. At first both men at least faked their pleasantries, but as the night progressed both men grew increasingly short with each other. Wilson and Stanton's attempt to leave when diffusion didn't work only earned glares from both their respective partners.

"How doesn't it make sense? The damn guy had an E-3 pay grade and had over seven hundred and fifty thousand in the bank. He wasn't even 25!" Tony stated waving the paper around in the air.

"Well _this_ guy was a known gang banger before he enlisted. _This _guy's blood test came back positive for crystal meth. _This_ guy was last seen associating with the local drug cartel leader. And_ this _guy had over $25,000 hidden in the seat of his car!" Gibbs growled out throwing the file over to Tony.

Wilson and Stanton nodded in slight approval with Gibbs' reasoning. Gibbs "hurrumphed" in triumph upon their approval before his eyes fell upon Tony, waiting for his move. Tony scanned the file meticulously, looking over the evidence in front of him, shaking his head as he read.

"It's too easy! Everything is pointing to him," Tony stated looking up from the file.

"That's usually what happens when someone is guilty," Gibbs pointed out dryly.

"No. That's usually what happens when people are too lazy to do their damn jobs and look deeper!" Tony stated his voice dripping with anger as he flung the file across the table back to Gibbs.

"Are you telling me how to do my job?" Gibbs demanded, his chair flying from beneath him.

"Ok!" Stanton said flying to his feet just as Tony stood up to challenge Gibbs. "How about we all call it a night?"

"No, I'm telling you how not to do your job. Look at the evidence. It's one thing if it's easy, but it's a whole 'nother thing if it's _too_ easy. What you're looking at, that's what they want you to be looking at. This guy is their damn fall guy. We stop the investigation here we're looking for a murderer. We follow this lead and it can lead us to take down something much bigger," Tony explained, his voice hard as he leaned forward on the table.

"Tony, it's nine at night. Go home," Stanton attempted once again to get Tony's mind off the case.

They had been working on the case now for close to four weeks chasing down nonexistent leads that left them with more questions than answers. The evidence had taken nearly two weeks to process thanks to NCIS, who insisted that they be re-done "just to make sure." Each of the four investigators had poured over every inch of the three men's files, both enlisted and civilian, going back as far as their high school records in hopes to make sense of what they had stumbled upon. The problem was, all three were involved in highly illegal activities, all three of which could be the reason for their very obvious fatal hit and run accident. As if that wasn't enough, apparently the killer had also proceeded to shoot the three in the heart ensuring their deaths. The further they probed, the more complicated the damn case got.

Stanton had watched Tony throw himself into the case, headfirst. After the FBI guy left, Fornell or whatever his name was, Tony had picked up the file and had spent the day memorizing the case. By the end of the first day Tony had compiled a list of known acquaintances of the three men as well as visited one of the three's last known addresses. Of course Tony's dedication to the case didn't surprise Stanton at all, but Stanton knew how Tony worked. Each day Tony had been coming into work with the circles under his eyes just a bit darker. Though he clearly wasn't hung over anymore, he still came to work reeking of alcohol, and more than once Stanton had to remind Tony to take a lunch break.

No, Tony's behavior and inability to see anything other than the case in front of him was nothing new to Stanton. What did surprise him, however, was how similar Gibbs and Tony's approach was. Besides Gibbs' obsessive love for coffee they were practically the same. Gibbs had sat down the first day and memorized the file. He voluntarily went with Tony to visit the first place (after assuring Stanton that he would watch out for his partner); he voluntarily stayed long after hours to go through numerous files and evidence. Each day the circle under Gibbs' eyes grew a little darker, and he seem to be functioning on caffeine alone.

Before Gibbs Stanton was sure that Tony's work ethic, when Tony put his mind to it, was next to none, now, he realized that maybe he was wrong.

"You should go home, Stanton," Tony said, his voice lacking the bite it had when talking to Gibbs. "Put the kids to bed and all that fun stuff."

"You need to get some rest kid," Stanton said wearily assessing Tony's current condition.

Stanton's eyes glanced over to the half empty box of Chinese food sitting on the table. Despite Tony's obnoxious need to state his constant need for food, he never actually finished it unless someone forced him to.

"And maybe some real food…" Stanton added.

"I'm going to stay here, read up for a couple more hours. See what I can find," Tony stated plopping back down into his seat. "Maybe find something we missed."

Stanton sighed. "You need rest, kid. Agent Gibbs, tell Tony that whatever he's looking for can hold off until morning."

Gibbs looked up from the file that Tony had thrown over to him a few minutes ago. His eyes landed on the young detective. Gibbs could tell that the kid was dead tired. Fornell's words to watch DiNozzo's six echoed through his head as he watch the young man stifle a yawn. Stanton's worried eyes pleaded silently with Gibbs as his hand rested on Tony's shoulder. Gibbs had been around Tony long enough to know that the only way Tony would be leaving to get some rest was if he left as well. Every single late night had been concluded only when Gibbs had been too tired to keep his eyes open any longer. Tony was always the last one to call it a night.

"He's right, DiNozzo. Go sleep," Gibbs ordered closing the file.

"Boss?" Wilson asked looking up from where he was just sitting awkwardly, watching the scene unfold.

"You too, Wilson," Gibbs said rolling his eyes at the pathetic excuse of an NCIS agent.

"With all due respect, don't tell me what to do," Tony growled out, his hostility surprising everyone in the room.

"What?" Stanton and Gibbs both asked at the same time.

"Are you out of your mind, DiNozzo? The hell is wrong with you?" Gibbs demanded immediately losing whatever patience he had retrieved during the brief break in their ongoing squabble.

"Tony, seriously," Stanton warned. "Go home."

Tony looked from Stanton to Gibbs before getting up. The room was silent as they watched Tony grab a folder and his jacket before stalking out of the room. Gibbs' eyes followed Tony until he reached the door, then Gibbs silently went after him, yanking the man's arm forcing him to stop walking, and to turn around.

"I asked you a question, Detective DiNozzo," Gibbs muttered lowly.

"And I refuse to answer your question, Agent Gibbs," Tony growled back.

"I don't even see what the heck Tobias sees in you," Gibbs huffed out shaking his head getting close to DiNozzo's face. "All I see is a burn out waiting to happen."

"Yeah, well, you don't know a damn thing about me," Tony huffed shoving Gibbs away and starting to walk away once more.

"I know more than you think, kid. The only reason I haven't asked that you get pulled from this case is because I told Tobias I'd look out for you," Gibbs whispered, knowing that it would push the young detective's buttons.

Tony laughed out loud stopping and turning around to face Gibbs. "What do you think you know? Let's hear it!"

"You're name is Anthony David DiNozzo Junior, son of Anthony David DiNozzo Senior. Father exported Swiss Army Knives and made a fortune. CEO of his own company. Too bad he was a drunk. Went into the system at the age of twelve after you were found beaten half to death by daddy dearest. You graduated from Rhode Island Military School. Went to Ohio State on a football scholarship. Busted your knee in your last game freshman year and haven't played since. Went into law enforcement after college and can't keep a job for more than two years. Never married, no kids, and has an open tab at every local bar in town… You think I don't smell the alcohol on you? You think I don't know you walk into work drunk? You think I didn't know you were drunk that first day?" Gibbs questioned, his face smug as Tony paled considerably throughout his speech."Don't tell me I don't know you because I do my research."

Tony walked towards Gibbs and Gibbs braced himself for a fight. But there was a fire in Tony's eyes that looked more like hurt than anger and that confused the NCIS agent. It was only at that moment did Gibbs realize that the action in the main room of the precinct had stopped to witness the exchange between the two. Gibbs could feel the anger of Stanton's eyes boring into him from behind as Stanton made no move to stop Tony's advancement towards Gibbs.

Tony got into Gibbs' face, but Gibbs did not back down. Tony's eyes were bright and shiny; his entire body shook with emotion.

"_**Wrong**_," Tony whispered, his voice cracking, mindful that only Gibbs would be able to hear the word.

Gibbs blinked, stepping back as if he had been punched as Tony's eyes bore into his own ice blue ones. "Like I said," Tony said, his voice cutting through the silence that had enveloped the precinct. "You don't know me."

* * *

A/N: This is what came out apparently. I can already tell people aren't going to be liking Gibbs and he may seem OOC, but run with me here.


	7. Chapter 5

Fornell growled as he yanked the door open ready to give whatever idiot decided to bang on his door well after midnight a damn piece of his mind. His features immediately softened, however, when his eyes fell upon Tony's figure, leaning heavily against the side of his house, the stench of alcohol apparent despite the nearly two feet distance between the two. Fornell looked past Tony to see a cab running idly in the driveway, the cabbie's window rolled down expectantly.

Fornell sighed before clicking the safety back on his SIG. Fornell took a step out onto the small porch, arms crossed waiting for an explanation.

"I quit," Tony's slurred defeated. "I just quit."

"What?" Fornell asked confused at Tony's words. "Kid, it's two thirty in the morning."

Tony pushed off against the wall, stumbling back and nearly off the porch if it had not been for Fornell grabbing hold of Tony's flimsy jacket the last second.

Fornell grabbed Tony's arm and placed it around his shoulder, placing one arm around Tony's waist, allowing the young man to lean heavily against him. Fornell grunted as Tony's heavier form stumbled backwards, nearly taking the FBI agent with him.

"C'mon Tony, help me out," Fornell pleaded practically dragging the man into the house.

Sweat was dripping from Fornell's face by the time he had deposited Tony onto the couch. The entire time Tony was mumbling and slurring his way through an explanation, none of which Fornell understood.

"Stay here, I got to go pay your fair," Fornell stated to Tony who was sitting rigidly on the couch. "And don't puke on my couch, or you're paying for a new one."

A light from the stairwell turned on and Emily's tiny head appeared through a stair railing sneakily.

"What are you doing up, Missy?" Fornell questioned laughing as the two-year-old's blue eyes turned wide with the realization that she had been caught.

Fornell gave a small laugh as Emily shook her head, shrugging her shoulders with her palms turned upward. Her curls were in disarray proving to Fornell that combing her hair for half an hour 6 hours earlier was a complete waste of time. Fornell hoisted Emily into his arms as he headed up the stairs.

"See, _you_ I can carry. Thirty year old men who have half a feet on me I can't," Fornell whispered to Emily earning a small giggle from the girl.

"Who that, daddy?" Emily questioned pointing down the stairs.

"That's Tony. You can meet him tomorrow. Right now, you have to sleep," Fornell whispered turning on the light to Emily's room.

"I want now," Emily whined as Fornell gently placed her under her covers.

"Yes, but I don't think he's up for anything, princess. He's really tired," Fornell said kindly as he grabbed Emily's bear from the floor.

"I be good," Emily nodded, her eyes wide.

"If you want to be good, Emmy, you'd close your eyes for daddy and go to sleep," Fornell reasoned. "I'll cook you pancakes tomorrow if you do."

Fornell waited patiently as Emily thought about the current offer. Eventually Emily nodded, crawling further under the covers and sticking her thumb firmly in her mouth. Fornell kissed her on the forehead before whispering, "I love you," and turning off the lights. He closed the door behind him before making his way over to the room he shared with Diane. Fornell's eyebrow shot up when he saw that Diane had been able to sleep through the ruckus of the last fifteen minutes, her snores still light and even. After grabbing his wallet, Fornell made his way down the stairs.

Tony had found the remote control for the television and was currently watching an infomercial on mute. Ignoring Tony for the time being, Fornell went out to the driveway to pay the cabbie.

Fornell placed a glass of water in front of Tony before finally plopping down besides the young man. Fornell watched as the emotions flickered freely through Tony's features, Tony too drunk to control them. He watched as Tony slowly placed the frame down on the coffee table, his eyes watching in concern as Tony fell back against the couch cushions, his green eyes bright with unshed tears.

"What happened?" Fornell questioned softly.

"I just can't do it anymore. I thought I could, but I can't," Tony slurred. "I mean, I've been Anthony DiNozzo for fifteen years. You would think I'd know how to be him…"

"I just -" Tony's voice cracked. "I'm no good at being a DiNozzo. He hates me. And I'm trying so damn hard on this case, but he's not listening to me! He doesn't even think I'm capable of doing this. I _disgust_ him. Damn it, all I want to do is make him proud…"

::Flashback::

"Graduation, huh, kid," Fornell grinned straightening out Tony's tie as Tony shifted his weight restlessly.

At seventeen Tony stood at a proud six feet and one and a half inches. He had grown into his limbs nicely and his hair was once again a nice clean shave; mostly due to the requirements Rhode Island Military Academy had strictly enforced upon their students. Tony had also gained weight since entering the Academy, though nearly all of it was muscle mass. His face was clear of any blemishes, and his smile was as bright as ever. It was no surprise to Fornell that Tony had gotten into trouble on more than one occasion fraternizing with the female student body when he wasn't supposed to. Looking at the boy who faced him, ok, towered over him, Fornell couldn't help but be proud as Tony tugged at the tie Fornell had just tied.

A gentle slap of the hand was enough to make Tony stop messing with the tie, but Tony whined in protest. A roll of the eyes from Fornell was all he received in reply and Tony sulked as he placed the cap on his head. He made a face as he stared into the mirror; disgusted at hideous maroon colored gown he had to wear.

"I look like a nerd," Tony commented throwing the national honor society rope around his shoulder. "I should make this a noose and hang myself."

Fornell scowled fixing Tony's braided ropes. "You know being a nerd isn't so bad," Fornell reasoned stepping back to admire his handiwork.

"I don't even see why I got to go through this stupid graduation. It's not like it mattes," Tony groaned as he looked out the window towards the campus. "Why couldn't you have just picked me up and put me in a safe house or something until September?"

"Because Tony, this is an important milestone in anyone's life. You wouldn't want to miss your high school graduation," Fornell stated. "I didn't just fly up here on my vacation just to get back on a plane two hours later."

"You didn't need to come, Fornell," Tony stated.

"Apparently, I did. How'd you go through military school without knowing how to tie a tie?" Fornell questioned with a laugh.

"Got other people to do it for me," Tony shrugged, walking towards the bed and plopping down.

"Jethro was a marine. I'm pretty sure he made you wear a tie once or twice," Fornell countered.

Tony's expression hardened and immediately Fornell knew he had made a mistake by bringing up Tony's past life. It had come out before he could fully think about it, but the words seem to settle in the room as the light-hearted conversation suddenly took a shift.

"My dad used to do it for me," Tony explained softly.

"Hey, Tony, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have…" Fornell sighed walking over to Tony.

"It's fine," Tony sighed out loudly before quickly standing. "I'm going to be late if I don't go now. I'll see you after the ceremony," Tony fumbled out as he rushed out the door.

Fornell groaned, slapping his head into his awaiting palm. He looked around the room, his eyes landing on Tony's sole suitcase and backpack. It was a stark contrast to Tony's roommate who had boxes upon boxes of crap piled floor to ceiling of personal belongings. The guilt emensified as Fornell's eyes landed on the open box full of picture frames of Charlie, Tony's roommate, and his family. Charlie's father had been in the room just an hour earlier helping Charlie go over his valedictorian speech one last time and helping him get dressed. The boys were all dressed in dress blues and Charlie's intensive amount of commendations had made it hard for Charlie and his father to put each medal in its proper place. In the end, Tony pointed out the proper order to father and son. He was particularly quiet through the entire fiasco and had refused to get involved for as long as possible. Once Charlie was dressed Tony excused himself to the bathroom leaving Fornell awkwardly standing in his room watching Charlie's father tell him how extremely proud of Charlie he was. At the time Fornell was thankful Tony had impeccable timing, but now looking back he realized Tony must have knew.

Fornell made his way towards the bleachers, sitting away from the loads of families with cameras to record the event. The graduation was extravagant, though Fornell expected nothing less from a rich, private school. At the end the kids threw their caps up in the air and whoops of celebration filled the football field. The people in the bleachers dispersed into the crowd as kids searched for their families and friends, every single one with smiles on their faces.

It had taken Fornell nearly forty-five minutes to find his own graduate. Apparently, Tony snuck away from the celebrations and had made his way to the back of the campus where a river flowed through. Fornell found him sitting at the end of the dock, his feet dangling over the ledge, his shoulder shaking.

As Fornell neared the sounds of hiccupped sobs grew distinguishable over the calm waters. Fornell resisted the urge to groan at the sound of his knees cracking as he sat down next to Tony, his eyes facing the water.

"I didn't think I'd ever be alive to actually graduate," Tony revealed.

"Because of what happened in the past?" Fornell questioned.

"Kind of. After your mom and sister dies and you go into witness protection you kind of stop thinking about school. Especially after you're placed in the stupid foster care system," Tony said. "You know when I was younger and my mom had to read to me because I didn't care about homework or anything she used to tell me that no matter what she'd be here for this? I didn't think I'd finish school. Didn't really care at the time, but she told me she'd be here for my graduation. Told me she would not miss it for the world…" Tony laughed bitterly at the end.

"Tony, you know…"

"Yeah, I know she's dead, and if she was alive she'd be here…"

"No. I was actually going to say that she's here. Kid, she's in your heart. I never knew her, but I know enough to know she's damn proud of you. After all you've been through..." Fornell trailed off.

"How's he doing?" Tony whispered, not trusting his voice.

"Jethro? He misses you, Kid. Hasn't been the same since the day they told him you died," Fornell said truthfully.

Tony nodded. "When I was younger I told my dad I would play for the Buckeyes," Tony's eyes traveled out to the waters, tears spilling from his eyes as he made no attempt to wipe them away. "Told him I'd wear his last name proudly."

"You're going to be playing in the fall."

"Wearing some random Italian dude's name. DiNozzo. _DiNozzo. _All of my stuff says DiNozzo. My damn birth certificate says DiNozzo. I'm fucking tired of being a DiNozzo," Tony spat out bitterly, his tone suddenly changing. "I want to be a Gibbs again. I want to be my father's son again," Tony stated, his voice breaking at the end. "I want him to be proud of me again."

::end of flashback::

"I need a drink," Tony stated pulling Fornell from his flashback.

Fornell blinked, his eyes focusing on the thirty year old in front of him. It seemed like just yesterday Tony was a seventeen-year-old boy. All of a sudden he was this guy, stumbling into the kitchen, desperate to drown out the sorrows that has haunted him since childhood.

Fornell reached the refrigerator just as Tony pulled a beer out of it. Gently, Fornell pulled the bottle from Tony's hands, "C'mon, you've had enough."

Fornell placed the beer on the counter and led Tony up the stairs and towards the guest room. The bed was just made from the time when Jethro not too long ago had winded up drunk at his front step asking Diane where they went wrong. He ordered Tony to take off his shoes. He watched as Tony bent down and nearly fell over. Eventually, Fornell resorted to undressing Tony down to his boxers and white tank himself after Tony passed out cold. Fornell looked over at Tony who was laying awkwardly on the bed. Fornell grunted placing the man in a more comfortable position on the bed before placing a garbage can by the head of the bed knowing that Tony was definitely going to need it.

Fornell's heart broke as he realized just how bad Tony was doing. Anger filled him as he noticed the dark circles under Tony's eyes and the noticeable weight loss from just a few weeks ago.

The sun was starting to rise when Fornell had closed the door to the guest room. Fornell went down the stairs to clean up the mess that drunken Tony had left in the living room.

Afterward, Fornell picked up the phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. This was going against every rule in the book, but at this point he couldn't care less. The boy he had come to care about was hurting - more so than he ever had in the years that Fornell had known him. It was too much. He had specifically instructed Gibbs to watch Tony's six and clearly the man was not doing so. Angrily Fornell jabbed at the last number, feeling no guilt as it rang. It was already four forty-five in the morning, but not surprisingly, it only rang twice before a drunken voice greeted him a slurred hello.

"We need to talk," Fornell barked out into the phone.

The sound of sandpaper against wood stopped. "How'd you know I was home?"

"It's an hour drive from your place to Baltimore. Where else would you be at 5 in the morning?" Fornell sniped.

"Yeah, Wilson's taking over that case. I quit."

"You and me need to talk, NOW. I'll meet you at your coffee place in fifteen minutes," Fornell ordered. "And Gibbs you better walk there...I can smell the damn bourbon from here. You two are so much alike it's ridiculous..." Fornell mumbled under his breath as he hung up the phone.

* * *

A/N: Reviews are appreciated..and responded to in a very slow manner. Trust me on this one, it's the reviews that spurred this chapter's creation. Now, back to studying, I have a big exam tomorrow. A&P II will be the death of me! Thanks so much for sticking with this story you guys!

-Liz


	8. Chapter 6

It was the sounds of a pot falling against the kitchen floor that awoke Tony from his drunken slumber. The headache that seemingly accompanied each morning as of late made little spots of black dance around the young detective's field of vision as Tony groped for the two little pills he was sure Fornell had left on the nightstand. He dried swallowed them before attempting anything else. Emily's laughter was muffled against the wooden door, but not completely blocked. The smells of bacon wafted into the room making Tony's stomach churn painfully, the contents of yesterday's alcohol binge not completely out of his system yet. Slowly, Tony pushed the covers off his legs, ignoring the spinning room as he pushed himself up to a standing position. His stomach churned once more and Tony had to physically gulp down in attempt to settle it until he made it to the bathroom.

Tony opened the door and stumbled towards the bathroom. The seat was already up and there was a glass of water placed thoughtfully on the counter besides the toilet. Tony kneeled into position and emptied the last of his stomach's content into the toilet. Bile mixed in with the taste of stomach acid making Tony dry heave a couple of times. The word _alcoholic_ drifted to mind as he gurgled, but he waved the thought out of his head as he spit the water from his mouth and flushed the toilet. Alcoholics couldn't hold a job to save their lives. He couldn't hold a job because he was saving his life.

After taking a quick shower Tony finally made his way down the stairs. He nearly tripped over the last step when his eyes fell upon an all too familiar set of wide blue eyes.

"Da…Agent Gibbs!" Tony sputtered out dumbstruck.

"Detective DiNozzo," Gibbs said equally surprised.

"His name is Tony," Emily said turning around from the stove.

Gibbs looked over to Fornell who shrugged and turned back to the pancakes Emily was flipping. "Tony," Gibbs corrected himself.

"Pancakes, Tony?" Fornell asked Tony innocently; Tony was still standing at the bottom of the stairs, blue-green eyes as wide as his father's.

"Um…,"

"Good, you need something in your stomach anyways from what I heard earlier," Fornell stated pouring more batter onto the pan.

"You can sit down," Gibbs said offering the seat across from him. "I don't bite."

Tony nodded, dumbstruck, slowly making his way towards the table and sitting down, his entire body tense, as if ready to strike. Fornell watched as the two awkwardly sat quietly, neither one saying a word, both too engrossed in acting as if they were reading the Sunday paper while at the same time sneaking looks at each other while the other wasn't looking.

Minutes later, Diane walked down the stairs, apparently just as surprised as Tony to see Gibbs sitting in the kitchen as he was. She quickly recovered and gave Tony a warm hug and small kiss on the cheek – something that didn't go unnoticed to the federal agent sitting across the table who simply received a curt "hello" from the redhead.

After the last pancake was made and the last bacon fried, the family, plus Gibbs and Tony, sat down in the dining room. Tony took a quick peek at the food around the table, suddenly wishing someone had thought to make soup for him, unsure if his stomach would be able to handle such a big breakfast at the moment. However, Emily's beaming smile as she proudly announced that she had helped make the pancakes was enough to guilt Tony into putting some of it onto his plate.

"Now, let's say grace," Emily ordered grabbing for her parent's hands.

Both Tony and Gibbs watched with wide eyes as Fornell and Diane reached for their hands, leaving the other one free. Emily watched expectantly, a smile on her face when Tony and Gibbs awkwardly completed the circle by reaching over the table to grab the other's hand. Gibbs was surprised when a strange feeling of déjà vu washed upon him once he had Tony's hand in his.

[[[[FLASHBACK]]]]

"Ok, you think Mommy will like my Mother's Day present?" a six-year-old Tony asked, looking up at Jethro hopefully.

Jethro looked at the big meal before them, pleasantly surprised that neither of them had started a fire in the process of cooking it. Tony dragged him out of bed at five to start preparing, even though breakfast was usually served at seven. Jethro was sure that it was way too early, but the boy was determined, and it was a good thing too because it was nearly seven fifteen by the time they were done. Jethro had warned Shannon about the meal so he was sure that his wife was now waiting in bed, expectantly waiting for their wake up call.

"I'm sure she'll love it, Champ," Jethro stated. "Why don't you go wake her up, and I'll go check on Kelly."

"Daddy, don't tell Kelly because it might hurt her feelings, but she's boring! All she does is eat, poop, and sleep," Tony frowned as the duo climbed up the stairs.

Jethro laughed, "Give her a couple of years and I bet you'd give anything to keep her quiet."

Tony pushed the door to his parents' room open immediately heaving himself up the big bed and straddling his mother's stomach. His small hands shook his mom, voice loud and excited, completely missing the groan beneath him.

"Mommy! Mommy!," Tony called out.

"Hm?" Shannon peeked open one eye immediately greeted with her son's face, inches away from hers.

"Happy mother's day, mommy," Tony greeted plopping a big kiss on her check.

Shannon smiled wrapping her arms around her little boy and gently squeezing him. "Thank-you, Tony."

Tony gave a grin as he tugged on his mother's arm. "Come on! I have a surprise for you!"

Shannon let Tony drag her out of the room, meeting Jethro at door of Kelly's room. Jethro barely had time to give his wife a kiss as she was pulled past him towards the stairs. Kelly shrugged, laughing slightly in defeat as Jethro shook his head and followed the pair down the stairs.

Jethro watched as tears of joy welled up in Shannon's eyes. She lifted Tony into the air hugging him tightly. In return Tony wrapped his small legs around his mother, returning the tight hug and planting another kiss on her cheek.

"Do you like it, mommy?

"Yes, baby, thank you so much!" Shannon said placing the boy in his chair.

"It's edible too," Jethro whispered as she settled down in his chair.

Shannon watched as Tony wiggled out of his chair and grabbed a plate. Tears left her eyes as her little boy struggled with the plate as he placed a generous helping of everything on it before slowly walking towards her and placing the food in front of her. Afterwards, Tony did the same for his father, serving himself last. Finally, it was time for grace, and Tony reached over and took his parents much bigger hands into his smaller ones and led the family in prayer.

[[[[End of Flashback]]]]

"Amen!" Emily said proudly, her little voice cutting through Gibbs' memories.

Looking up, Gibbs was met with a smiling blue-eyed little girl, with a smile as wide as her face. Gibbs felt his heart hurt as Emily proudly told her mother how she had prepared the food especially for her.

"Tony, you should eat," Fornell suggested from the head of the table.

Gibbs glanced down at DiNozzo's plate. The pancakes were already cut into tiny pieces which were drowning in maple syrum, just the way _his_ Tony loved it, but it was untouched. Surprisingly, it was a technique that _his_ Tony did whenever he wasn't hungry.

"Food and I aren't really on speaking terms right now," Tony sighed, pushing around some of the pieces.

"Tony," Fornell said in a voice that Gibbs remembered he used to use on his son when he was being stubborn.

Tony sighed and reluctantly took a bite under Gibbs' curious stare and Fornell's worried on. He chewed and opened his mouth to show that it was empty earning a shake of the head from the F.B.I. agent before he went back to eating his own breakfast.

"So why's he here?" Tony asked pointing his fork over to Gibbs.

"Call it intervention," Fornell said sarcastically. "I had coffee with him this morning and I invited him over for breakfast."

[[[Flashback]]]]

Fornell was biting into his blueberry muffin when the door rang, signaling the arrival of yet another costumer. Gibbs stumbled into the coffee shop, and drunkenly made his way to Fornell, tripping over two chairs in the process. Fornell simply lifted an eyebrow up, as Gibbs finally fell into the booth, his hands immediately covering his eyes in attempt to settle the spinning world.

"Why am I here?" Gibbs murmured.

Fornell shrugged, pushing a cup of coffee towards Gibbs. "Why are you here?"

"Don't fuck with me today, Tobias," Gibbs growled out.

"Looks like Tony's not the only one having a rough night," Fornell noted.

"I'm tired of that kid. He's so cocky. Always so sure of himself; always thinks he's right. Where does he get off on that? He's just a damn detective. How can anyone work with him? How can you?" Gibbs said with a shake of the head.

"Are you describing you or the kid?" Fornell asked earning a glare from Gibbs.

"I'm different," Gibbs defended. "I'm good at my job."

Fornell gave a smirk. He took a sip of his own coffee. "So is he."

Gibbs scowled but said nothing. It was true. Tony was good at his job. The few advances they made in the case were made because of Tony. He was unconventional, but careful. Hell, sometimes Gibbs even liked Tony. But then there was something about Tony that he hated. There was something about his childlike antics, his constant need for attention, his inability to stay still for two minutes; there was something about him that reminded him all too much to Anthony Gibbs. And that's the one thing he could not stand about Tony.

"I looked his file up the other day," Gibbs started.

Fornell stiffened a little, before relaxing. Tony's true identity was so carefully hidden that no one except those involved in the cover up knew. There was no way Gibbs could have gotten into those files.

"How come you didn't tell me he was a foster kid?" Gibbs asked.

"I told you his father did a number on him," Fornell sighed.

"I messed up earlier," Gibbs whispered so softly that Fornell didn't think he heard correctly.

"How so?"

"I got mad earlier after he told me I didn't know him at al. I confronted the kid about his past. Threw everything I read in the file in his face while his partner and mine were watching."

"What?" Fornell spat out, his eyes widening, suddenly realizing why Tony had appeared at his doorsteps in the condition he was in. "How could you do that? He doesn't talk about his life to anyone. He's this private person and you tell everyone about it?" Fornell's voice rose with each word he spoke.

"The funny thing is that he told me I was wrong. And when he said it he just…he looked like…his eyes were…but it can't be right? I'm seeing things. He looked like _him_," Gibbs' voice broke, his eyes meeting Fornell's for the first time that morning.

Fornell sighed, the anger within him dissipating at the sound of Gibbs' voice. "Jethro…"

"You've never had your family die on you so you don't know!" Gibbs shouted suddenly.

The coffee shop grew silently momentarily, eyes all on their table. Fornell narrowed his eyes and Gibbs continued, quieter this time. "Every time I close my eyes I see Kelly and Shannon. Every single god damn time I see Tony in that damn hospital bed. Every time I dream Kelly's asking me why I didn't save her. Shannon will come out of nowhere asking me why I didn't save Tony. I could have saved him. Maybe I couldn't have saved Shannon and Kelly, but I could have saved Tony. But I didn't. And now…I've been living with the guilt of knowing for the past fifteen years Tony's been dead and it's my fault. And God damn it Fornell, every time I see Tony DiNozzo I can't help but see Tony Gibbs. They have a similiar sense of humor. Similar mannerisms, likes and dislikes, music taste. God damn…and I get pissed because this kid doesn't know how damn lucky he is to be alive. This kid is throwing his damn life away coming to work drunk off his ass, practically going on suicide missions just to crack the damn case," Gibbs slammed his hand on the table in frustration, spilling some of both their coffees from their cups. "He doesn't know how damn lucky he is to be alive; that I'd give anything to have my boy be breathing like he is. My boy would be his age, you know?" Gibbs stopped and Fornell nodded sadly, his heart going out to his friend. "He just doesn't know."

"You're worried about him," Fornell concluded, his eyes widening in surprise.

"I look at him and I don't see my co-worker throwing away his life; I see my son. And it's getting harder and harder to remind myself that Tony DiNozzo is not _Tony_…no matter how much I want him to be."

[[[End of Flashback]]]]

"So what's the plan, Fornell?" Tony asked taking a sip of his water. "We talk about our feelings and suddenly everything is better?"

"DiNozzo!" Gibbs growled.

"Save yourself the trouble, Fornell. I quit Baltimore."

"What?" Both Fornell and Gibbs questioned at the same time.

"Turned in my two weeks notice yesterday," Tony stated, his eyes traveling to Fornell who was looking at him lividly. "Would have left sooner, but didn't want to look suspicious."

"Tony, where will you go?" Fornell questioned.

Tony had not mentioned leaving to Fornell at any point before yesterday. He had no safe house ready for Tony; nothing set up to guarantee Tony safety. The fact that Tony threw down a resignation letter without his knowledge never happened in the past. The fact he threw it down in the middle of an investigation was completely not Tony-like behavior. When Tony said he quit Fornell thought it was just the alcohol talking. He thought he had time to make things at least civil with the father and son.

"I never took you for a quitter," Gibbs scoffed.

"Shut up, Gibbs," Fornel l ordered standing from the table and walking over to Tony.

"Kid, let me talk to your Chief. C'mon you can't just leave," Fornell reasoned placing a hand on Tony's shoulder.

Tony sighed. "I remember coming by to tell you but I forgot exactly what happened yesterday…we should not do this here," Tony said after his eyes drifted over to Emily and Diane.

Fornell nodded and excused both Gibbs and himself from the table. He led father and son up the stairs to the room Tony had been occupying.

"Talk," Fornell ordered.

"After everyone left I came back to do more work and I found this on top of my desk," Tony fished out a wrinkled napkin from his discarded jacket in the corner and handed it over to Fornell.

Fornell read the words and for a second his heart stopped: _I know your secret._

* * *

A/N - Long time no update. Please review they keep the muse close.


	9. Chapter 7

"_About time you showed your face, Gibbs. I was about to send my boys out looking for you," Joey Hernandez said, flicking his cigarette to the side. _

_Tony scoffed. He shook his head and lit a cigarette of his own, taking a long drag before casually glancing around the small alleyway. He counted two of Joey's older cousins and Joey's best friend standing off to the side, sneering at him, ready to pounce. _

_It had taken him quite some time to sneak away from the NIS agent in charge of looking after him, and he knew that he didn't have too long before they found him. The newest "safe house" with the two NIS agents playing foster parents was suffocating to say the least. They both hated each other and living with them was driving Tony to insanity. Yet, his father hadn't made contact at all and Macy still forbade him from calling Jethro. It had been nearly two weeks and he had been moved four times already, and there was talk that he was once again being moved tomorrow – this time far away from Washington D.C. and he knew that today would be the last day to give Joey his money and merchandise. _

"_Relax, Hernandez," Tony said coolly. "I got your money and your shit right here. Just wanted to say I'm out." _

"_Out?" Hernandez yelled, catching the attention of a late night passerby. "What do you mean out? You can't get out," he hissed._

"_I mean out. I'm moving. I can't fucking stick around," Tony stated._

"_See, this is why my uncle always told me never trust a white man," Joey said with a roll of his eyes. "Never loyal…"_

"_What do you want me to do, Hernandez? It's not like I have a damn choice!" Tony defended. _

"_I'm going to tell you what to do, Gringo. You take this shit and you sell it like I told you to the first time or I'm going to pop a damn cap in your behind," Joey said getting into Tony's face. "Better yet," he whispered, his face close enough to Tony's for him to feel Joey's hot breath. "I'll pop one in your dad's head and you'll really be a damn orphan." _

_Tony's fist flew up and hit Joey square in the jaw before any of the other boys could make a move. Joey stumbled back, his lower lip dripping blood onto his white t-shirt. Quickly the two older boys restrained Tony, one punching him in the abdomen for good measure, earning a howl of pain from the brown headed teen. Joey stepped forward and punched Tony twice more in the abdomen sending Tony reeling to the ground. Tony crawled into a fetal position as the other boys kicked him mercilessly all over his body. The darkness was quickly engulfing the boy as the pain quickly subsided to numbness, his ears ringing with blood and the sounds of ribs breaking. The voices of Joey and his crew were muffled as someone kicked Tony on the head. Hard. Then, as quickly as it started, it stopped. Tears were running down Tony's face as he struggled to breath. Someone yanked on his hair earning a soft yelp from the beaten boy. _

"_I know your secret…"_

Tony DiNozzo awoke with a start. Sweat glued his brown hair to his forehead as the sheets stuck to him like a second skin. The door to the room opened and Tony's immediate reaction set off warning signals in both Gibbs and Fornell's heads. They watched as the detective scrambled to the top of the bed, his hand immediately reaching for the firearm, blindly clicking off the safety.

"Holy shit, Tony, it's just us!" Fornell yelled out putting his hand up in the air.

"Dad?" Tony questioned his voice sounding unnaturally young as it broke; his eyebrows coming together in confusion.

"No, DiNozzo_. _It's us – Fornell and Gibbs," Fornell said carefully glancing over at Gibbs who seemed frozen in place.

"Oh," color rushed up to Tony's cheeks as he clicked the safety back on the gun. "Sorry about that."

"Must have been one hell of a dream…" Gibbs cut in his eyes locked on Tony.

Tony peeled the covers off of himself as he scrambled to get a grip on reality once more. Fornell settled down at the foot of the bed while Gibbs still stood frozen in place; unaware of what to do next. If this was _his_ Tony he knew that a cold glass of water was the next step in combating the nightmare. He would sit at the bottom of the bed patiently as his son recollected his dream. He would rub Tony's back gently and tell him that it was just a dream and that he's safe. If this was _his_ Tony he'd be able to comfort him like a father would know to comfort his son. But this wasn't his Tony.

Gibbs watched as Fornell patted Tony twice on the back before the young detective shrinked away. Fornell whispered soft, reassuring words to Tony while he shook his head stubbornly, his hands running through his hair leaving it sticking up in all sorts of odd angles like _his_ Tony's would. Gibbs watched as Tony shakily took the crumpled napkin on the nightstand back into his hand, studying it carefully. His fearful eyes meeting Gibbs' and for a second Gibbs thought he was looking into the eyes of his son.

Without thinking about it, Gibbs strode out of the room momentarily coming back with a glass of cold water. He shoved it into the detective's hands ordering him to drink. Unexpectedly, he ruffled the young man's hair, surprised at just how soft it actually was – just how much it felt like Tony's. _His _Tony's. He took his hand away as if the gesture burned, his heart aching as just how similar this Tony was to _his._

"It was just a dream, kid," Gibbs said, his tone mirroring that of a father Tony once had.

Tony nodded awkwardly, his eyes falling away in attempt to hide the tears rushing to his eyes. The sun was setting behind him now, the white snow making it unusually bright outside. The sounds of Dora the Explorer playing softly downstairs reminded both father and son of memories of another lifetime, long ago. No one said anything as both the older agents attempted to comfort the thirty year old man in front of them, unsure of what to do. Tony himself was far too embarrassed to say anything choosing instead to school his expression back to one of his many masks. A goofy one to fit the occasion. However, he failed in trying to lighten the situation by telling a joke, only earning reproving looks from the older men.

"I'm going to go hit the head," Tony finally stated getting out of bed.

He wobbled – much like Tony Gibbs would do after getting out of bed too fast from a nightmare. With a father's reflex, Gibbs caught Tony by the elbow, steadying him before he fell. Gibbs was surprised when Tony almost leaned into his touch before quickly jumping away, stuttering out an excuse that he really had to go.

Fornell watched the interaction sadly. It was evident to the FBI agent just how close the two once were and it broke his heart to know just how distant they were now. When Tony moved Gibbs moved. They looked like an unbeatable team. Fornell knew that if they just let their demons of their past go they would be. But sadly, when either got too close the other jumped away as if burned by the familiar intimacy.

"What the hell is going on Tobias?" Gibbs growled out after he was sure Tony was not within hearing distance.

Fornell scoffed at the question, rubbing his face. He wanted to tell his friend more than anything that at the moment, what was going on was his son needed his attention. He wanted to tell his friend that he could be a father to his son again, that all the feelings he was feeling inside was because this was _his _Tony. That despite the fact fifteen years ago he was told his son was dead, he was here, alive and well. He wanted to tell Gibbs that he had kept his promise and had kept his son safe.

"I told you, the kid's been through a lot. He gets nightmares from time to time. Part of the job you know?" Fornell chose to say instead, looking away, ashamed.

"No, no one gets nightmares to the point they can't even differentiate who the hell their father is and who isn't," Gibbs said.

_He knows who his father is_. Fornell thought sadly.

The sound of a flushing toilet saved Fornell from having to respond to the angry man. Tony appeared at the doorway, his face dripping with water. Gibbs scowled as he watched a silent exchange of words happen between Fornell and Tony, with him right in the middle.

"Are you two going to give me a sit-rep anytime soon?" Gibbs finally snapped.

"I know who wrote on that napkin," Tony said, ignoring Gibbs entirely.

"Who?" Both Fornell and Gibbs asked at the same time.

"Kid I used to know before I went to Rhode Island Military," Tony sighed out causing the color to drain from Fornell's face.

"Before RIMA…but that means…" Fornell started.

Tony nodded. "Yeah."

"Clearly I'm missing a very big piece of the picture here," Gibbs growled. "Does this have anything to do with the case we're working on, DiNozzo? Or is this personal?"

""It's personal and it won't interfere with your precious case," Tony snapped out.

"If it has something to do with your past Tony then it could have everything to do with the case. The case could simply just be a set up to get you guys in the same vicinity," Fornell spoke up loosening his tie.

"I'll handle it by myself. It's been a long time coming anyways," Tony said pushing off the door post.

"Why would anyone want him and me in the same 'vicinity'?" Gibbs scoffed out.

"No way, you can't handle this by yourself. I won't let you! It's too dangerous," Fornell stood up effectively blocking Tony from getting his badge and gun sitting on the table, completely ignoring Gibbs' question.

"I have no other choice," Tony said quietly.

Gibbs could literally feel his internal temperature rising as the room took in an odd hue of red. His frustration was coloring his world as he watched the exchange between Tony and Fornell, still completely unaware of what was going on. When they had discussed what secret could possibly in danger Tony Fornell and Tony both danced around the subject. They included him in the discussion but only to a point. Fornell insisted that Tony napped and suddenly the boy knew who sent the napkin? Gibbs was a trained investigator and as such he was able to see things that others couldn't. Better yet, he was one of NCIS's best. He won more awards and had more case closures than even his old boss Mike Franks. No one could get anything past him. He was able to read people and he prided himself on that. It's what made him great. But ever since he's met this young man his world had been turned upside down. Tony was impossible to read. He had a mask on every single day of his life. He was able to play whatever role he needed to and he transformed before Gibbs' own eyes each time he was in the presence of someone else. He could be cocky, empathetic, smart, stupid, whatever he needed to be. And it was pissing the fuck out of Gibbs.

There was something big he was missing and he was tired of guessing. He had been impatient when he met the young detective; curious when Fornell asked him to protect him; and now just downright intolerant as the man continued to stay one step ahead of him. No, this was ending NOW!

"I swore I'd protect you. I promised…"Fornell whispered harshly. "I can't protect you if you won't even tell me who you're going after."

"Remember the day Roy Brickman found me in the alley? The day before I was given that ultimatum? The day before she pieced it all together?" Tony said searching Fornell's eyes.

"Yeah, you were lucky you survived," Fornell nodded.

"Who pieced what together?" Gibbs questioned.

"I'm going after the people who did that to me," Tony said pushing Fornell aside and grabbing for his gun, leaving his badge on the table.

"You told me you didn't remember who did that to you," Fornell scowled. "You can't Tony. I promised him I'd protect you!"

"No, you promised you would protect _him._ I haven't been _him_ in fifteen years," Tony stated quietly.

"Who'd you promise that you'd protect him?" Gibbs spoke up once more.

"My dad," Tony said turning to face Gibbs.

"I thought you told me his dad messed him up, Fornell? What am I missing?" Gibbs said his gut churning.

"He did," Tony said shaking his head. "But I still have to do this for him."

"Tony, quit thinking with your damn heart and start thinking with your head," Fornell demanded.

"Guess I'm just following in my father's footsteps," Tony sneered.

"I know you want to Tony, but you can't protect him forever," Fornell yelled out to the retreating detective.

Tony stopped mid-stride. He turned and he looked at Gibbs. "I made that choice fifteen years ago…the day you guys showed up at his doorsteps and told him I was dead…"

* * *

A/N: It's picking up you guys. Thanks for the reviews. I'm going to start going through them now and responding one by one. By the way a lot of the holes in Biological Catalyst will now start being filled. Thanks for reading.

Nighttime_writer aka Liz


	10. Chapter 8

Leroy Jethro Gibbs stared at the empty glass that sat before him on the bar's counter. In his mind he knew that had entirely way too much, but his heart won out as he waved the bartender over for another refill. He scowled when the bartender examined him wearily, but Gibbs said nothing, afraid the bartender would know how drunk he was if he opened his mouth. It had been hours since Tony left Fornell's house; hours since his world had been turned upside down – hours since Tony's mind blowing confession. Tony had walked out immediately after the words tumbled out of his mouth, an unreadable expression on his face. Fornell went after him, but Gibbs was unable to move, years of repressed grief and guilt rushed to the surface, as the room transformed into a movie house of memories.

It had taken him years to even pass by his son's room without his breath hitching. As an NCIS agent he had gone through all the files he could dig up on Tony, researching his cause of death, the foster homes he had been in before, the people that took care of him. He reviewed Shannon and Kelly's files over and over until he had each sentence engrained into memory. Each night he had drunkenly gone through hours of home videos, desperate to feel the happiness and love that emanated through his giggled laugh of his beloved family. And each night for years on end he was racked with the terrible reminder that the three people that made his life worth living were all dead. For years Fornell had watched him self destruct, and year after year of Tony's "death anniversary" Fornell watched him go to Tony's grave, and set flowers down on the nondescript plot, apologizing for his failure as a father. Each year Fornell witnessed his grief, and each year he said nothing of Tony being alive.

"Another," Gibbs requested slamming the glass down on the bar.

Flashback

_Jethro knelt down on one knee, his arms open wide, catching the blur of brown hair into his arms easily. Unable to bring himself to care about the wrinkles in his dress blues, Jethro held Tony close, tears threatening to fall from his eyes as he listened to his son's muffled sobs. The cap that once adjourned his head was currently on the ground, forgotten as he stood to his feet, son still in his arms. Shannon stood by Jethro's side, waiting patiently for her turn to bid her husband farewell. It had been just a couple of months since Jethro's return when he was called back for another operation. Since he received the call two weeks ago, Tony had clung to Jethro in such a fashion that it worried everyone. At four, Tony was unable to fully share what he was feeling, but it was quite apparent to all who knew the young boy how he was handling the impending departure. _

_Now it was time and Tony could no longer hold back the tears as he sobbed into his father's neck, unwilling to let go. Jethro made no movement to pry the boy off, consoling him as he rubbed the boy's back, whispering promises of a baseball game upon his return. _

"_How long you gone, Daddy?" Tony whimpered out, pulling away just enough to search Jethro's glassy blue eyes._

"_A couple of months, Bud; not a minute longer than necessary," Jethro reassured, taking one hand and rubbing the tears off the boy's face._

_Tony sniffled, his blue-green eyes still bright with tears, "I'm going to miss you."_

_Jethro nodded, the lump in his throat threatening to choke him. "I'm going to miss you too, Tony."_

"_You promise you'll come back?" Tony questioned, wrapping his arms around his father's neck._

"_Of course, Bud. I'll always come back," Jethro promised._

"_What if you forget me?" _

_This time, it was Jethro's turn to pull the boy away enough to look into his blue-green eyes. Shannon stood, tears in her eyes watching the interaction, her heart tearing at the sound of her son's question. _

"_I will never forget you."_

"_What if I change so much that you won't remember what I look like and then you forget me?"_

"_No matter what, Tony, I will always recognize my own son, and above all, I will never EVER forget you. I love you, Tony." _

End of flashback

The bartender shook his head as he walked over to the lone costumer, "Last one, Buddy. It's 2:00, time to close up."

Gibbs nodded as he fished his wallet from his pocket. He blinked as his surroundings spun, and by some miraculous feat, he pulled three bills from his wallet. Hoping that the bartender would be nice enough to tell him if he overpaid he dropped the bills on the table and started to fish his keys out of his pocket.

"Hold up! You thinking of driving after sitting here for the past two hours?" the bartender scoffed out, placing a cleaned glass back into its rightful place.

"Not that drunk," Gibbs slurred out, nearly falling onto his back upon standing.

"Right…" the bartender drawled out. "And I'm an idiot. I'm going to call you a cab. Come get your car in the morning."

Gibbs opened his mouth to argue when the bell over the door tinkled, signaling the arrival of a costumer. Gibbs slowly whirled around, suddenly feeling too sober for the situation, as his eyes landed on none other than Detective Anthony G. DiNozzo. Gibbs watched as Tony…_his Tony_…walked slowly towards the bar. No, corrections, limped slowly towards the bar. Despite the dark lighting of the bar, it was obvious to Gibbs close up that Tony's cheek was swollen and bruised, and the brown around the side of his eye was a foretelling of a nasty black eye that would surely appear in a couple of hours. Tony greeted the bartender before reaching behind the bar and grabbing a clean glass from underneath the bar and helping himself to the beer on tap. Gibbs observed carefully, noticing the bruising on Tony's knuckles, a familiar paternal anger flaring inside of him as he deduced that _his son_ was hurt.

Flashback

_ Jethro looked up from raking the yard to see his son get off the yellow school bus, his head hung low to his chest. The bus was abnormally quiet as eyes looked out towards the him expectantly. Jethro's paternal instincts kicked in as he dropped the rake to the side and made his way towards his son. _

_ "Hey, Buddy, how was school?" Jethro asked stopping in front of Tony._

_ The five year old boy side stepped his father, and continued walking towards the garage, his eyes never leaving the ground. Jethro gently grabbed his son shoulder, only to quickly retreat his hand at the sound of Tony's strangled whimper. _

_ Quickly, Jethro knelt in front of his son, taking his little chin into his fingers before lifting the boy's head so that he could look at those expressive green eyes. Anger raised within as he saw the black eye preventing his right eye to fully open, tears staining the beautiful creamy freckled flesh of Tony's face. _

_ "What happened?" Jethro questioned, trying his best not to let his anger show. _

_ Tony shook his head, tears still flowing out of one eye. _

_ "C'mon buddy, you can tell me, what happened?" Jethro insisted wiping the stray tears with his sleeve. _

_ "Daddy, I hurt," Tony finally whispered out. "Fix it"_

_ Jethro took the opportunity to memorize each of the kids' expressions on the bus, each one wide eye in anticipation. He could immediately tell who was responsible for hurting his son, and while Tony didn't know it, he would make sure that the boy who hurt Tony would never even look at Tony ever again. _

_ Jethro sighed and picked Tony up into his arms. Like a child Tony's legs wrapped around Jethro's waist, his head immediately finding the familiar crook in Jethro's neck as Jethro made his way inside the house. _

_ "I'll fix it, Tone. I'll make you all better."_

_ "I know." _

End of flashback

"What the fuck happened to you?" the bartender questioned, whistling lowly as his eyes fell upon his friend.

"Shut up, Mikey," Tony grumbled; his words not quite clear due to the swelling of his bottom lip.

Gibbs sighed remembering a time when Tony would immediately come to him after Tony had gotten hurt, expecting Gibbs to fix him up. Gibbs almost half expected the current version of Tony, the 6'1 version, to lean over and ask him to fix it, like he did when he was younger. Instead, Tony took a long swig of the beer he poured himself.

"You're drinking," Gibbs pointed out lamely.

Tony scoffed taking a big swig of his beer, "It is legal. I am of age."

"How the hell could you have known for this long and not tell me?" Gibbs suddenly burst out. "I've seen you every day for practically a month now…"

"I'll close up Mikey," Tony told the bartender, ignoring his father's questions.

Mikey nodded, dropping the dish cloth onto the table, "Watch him, he's had a lot to drink tonight. Make sure he doesn't try driving home," he said pointing to Gibbs who simply glared at him.

"I got him. No worries, your bar is in good hands," Tony stated gulping down the last of his beer.

Mikey watched as Tony poured himself another drink, "and don't drink too much. Knowing you, you probably should be in the ER and not in a bar…but shit, I'm not your father kid so do whatever you want. Just don't fuck up my bar."

"Like I said, it's in good hands. Now go. I know that son of yours got a hockey tournament tomorrow," Tony said throwing the man the keys which were sitting at the end of the bar. "Tell the family I say 'hello.'"

"What the heck is this, "Cheers?'" Gibbs sputtered out watching as the two talked, ignoring his presence.

Tony waved goodbye to Mikey, managing the best smile possible at the moment. He waited until Mikey locked the door behind him before his eyes settled back down on his father, who was now glaring at him with angry eyes.

"You made a TV reference," Tony noted. "You hated TV."

"Why didn't you tell me that you're you?" Gibbs questioned, his voice harsher than he meant.

"Because you're not supposed to know. Because I'm supposed to be dead anyways. Because you wouldn't have believed me. Go ahead, pick whichever answer best fits," Tony sighed waving his hand in the air.

"What the hell happen? Why did they tell me you were dead?"

"What happened was you could not handle your grief and you left."

"I don't get it. That does not make sense. You were a minor. They had no right taking you away!" Gibbs yelled out.

"I was a minor, but you know the choice was either me dead or you in prison!" Tony yelled back. "Macy pieced it together, _Gibbs_."

Gibbs flinched as his name flowed past Tony's lips smoothly. "Pieced what together?"

"That you killed Hernandez, the drug dealer responsible for killing mom and Kells; that you tracked him down and murdered him in cold blood. That you could have been dishonorably discharged from the marine corp and you would have lost every single accolade you won. Macy figured out how much you ignored every single moral code in the book and used your marine training to carry out revenge," Tony stopped as he watched Gibbs process through the information presented at him. "Geez, Gibbs, did you really think you hid it that well?"

"Why did you have to die? They could have taken me. They could have put me in prison. You could have gone to live with your Grandpa. They did not have to put you in witness protection. None of this makes sense! I've been going over it in my head for hours, and the pieces don't add up!" Gibbs growled out frustrated.

"That day you were in my room planning your attack on Hernandez? The day you and Mike fought. I was awake…"

"It still doesn't add up, Tony. It still doesn't make sense."

"I knew about Hernandez in school. Maybe not Pedro Hernandez, but I knew his nephew, Joey. At school he was well known for his illegal activities. When Mike was at work I read up on Mom and Kell's file. I read the report and I knew that Joey was involved somehow. Everyone knew that if you wanted drugs Joey was the source. So I started digging…" Tony trailed off.

"What?" Gibbs raised his head from his hands, his eyes meeting Tony's for the first time since the conversation started.

Tony sighed hopping off his chair. He avoided his father's graze as he paced in front of Gibbs unsure of just how much to tell. "I got pretty close, Joey trusted me, at least I thought Joey trusted me."

"Tony, you knew it was dangerous! What the hell were you thinking? Is this why Macy took you away? Why didn't you tell me back then? I could have protected you. I could have…"

"I saw the murder!"

"I told them to take you because I thought it was better for you to be away for a little while. I never meant that you never come back to me. I never thought they would take you away from me forever. I could have protected you."

"From who? You don't even know how deep I got. Macy found out and she decided that the only way to keep you safe…the only way to keep both of us safe was to pretend I was dead," Tony sighed plopping down into a chair across the bar. "I got in too deep. I was lost in that world, and it was getting too hard. I was fifteen. I was getting threats from people saying they would kill you. I did what I thought I had to do"

"I could have watched out for myself," Gibbs defended.

"How? After their deaths you could barely function. I saw you drunk more than I saw you sober that last year. No, I needed to keep you safe, and that meant being as far away from you as possible."

Gibbs growled out in frustration slamming his fist onto the bar. "What you didn't get through your skull was that keeping me safe is not your responsibility!"

"Well you sure as hell weren't acting like it was yours!"

"Damn it, Tony! I was a marine! I AM a marine. I am a trained sniper I could take care of myself. My job as a father was to take care of you."

"Well, you weren't doing that either. I had to take care of myself."

"You didn't have to."

"Yes," Tony shook his head. "Yes, I did."

Silence filled the air as Gibbs absorbed the knowledge he had been given. All that kept ringing in his ears was that he could have prevented the last fifteen years. The grief of losing a son could have been prevented. The pain that Tony obviously went through could have been prevented.

He observed his son, who stood a couple of inches taller than him. He noticed how nicely Tony had filled into his lanky feet and arms and how proportioned he now looked. He noted the mop of hair that used to be the vain of Tony's teenage years had been replaced with a short cut, longer than a marine's cut, but certainly shorter than before. He wondered drunkenly who had taught his son to shave, noticing that there was a small nick on the left side of his cheek, undoubtedly a shaving mishap. God, his son had grown up. God, he was so beautifully handsome. God, he had missed every single important minute.

"You've grown up," Gibbs finally said breaking the silence.

Tony, who had been leaning his head against the wall on the other side of the bar pushed his head up, opening his right eye, as his left was now fully swollen shut. "That's what people tend to do with time, Gibbs."

"Who did that to you?" Gibbs questioned pointing to plethora of bruises.

"Hernandez. Don't worry, all of this, it's going to end sometime soon. I'm going to put an end to this. At fifteen I thought the best solution was to run. I know better now…"

"Oh yeah? What's your solution then?" Gibbs questioned wearily.

"As a law enforcement officer, you don't want to know," Tony laughed out darkly.

"Right now, I'm not a law enforcement officer," Gibbs stated.

"Kill him."

* * *

A/N: I know this doesn't make up for the fact I've kept you guys waiting for months. I'm sorry for that. I keep having random bursts of inspiration, but the problem is I have absolutely no time. My major is nursing, and for those of you familiar with any nursing program, a BSN is one hard ass degree. If I receive anything less than a 77% on any test I'm out of the program. The same goes for if my average in any one class is below that. Therefore, I've been concentrating on that. Please know though that each and every single one of your reviews has been read. I don't think I'll be able to go and personally thank all you guys like I usually do, but I just want to instill that it is the reviews that keep me coming back to this story even when I think I have given up. Thank you so much for reading; please, continue to review. Those make my day. I could use picker uppers since finals are coming up.

Thanks,

Nighttime_writer aka Liz


	11. Chapter 9

"DiNozzo!" Stanton exclaimed, looking up from the file he was reading, "What are you doing here? I thought you said you quit?"

Stanton had come in earlier that morning, only to find a forwarded copy of DiNozzo's resignation that was supposedly effective immediately. Though saddened, he wasn't quite surprised since he had seen it coming for quite some time, especially after NCIS's appearance – more specifically, especially since Gibbs's appearance. Yet, his former partner just opened the door to the conference room, file in hand, eye swollen shut, and right hand wrapped in an ace band aid.

"And what in God's name happened to you?" Stanton added watching as Tony slowly shrink into his chair, his face contorted in poorly repressed pain.

"Don't really remember, Stanton," Tony stated nonchalantly, "Maybe a bar brawl or something…I probably went one on one with a car and the car won horribly."

"Or you probably got so shit faced you couldn't tell where the window ended and the outside began," Wilson muttered under his breath.

"If you don't got nothing productive to say, Wilson, then do us all a favor and don't say nothing at all," Gibbs barked, looking up from his file for the first time since Tony arrived.

Every eyebrow rose in surprise at Gibbs sudden outburst. While everyone was used to Gibbs's famous smart aleck remarks, no one in the room was used to Gibbs defending who seemingly was his worst enemy.

Stanton tilted his head back observing Gibbs and Tony. It seemed that the anger from Friday night's fight had diffused, and the tension in the room was no longer palpable, despite Tony's disheveled appearance. It was only last week that Gibbs nearly chewed Tony out for coming to work in less than professional clothing; and while Tony held his own, Tony had come to work every day since then clean shaven, with at least a button up shirt and a tie hanging loosely around his neck. In fact, every day, or so it seemed to Stanton, Gibbs had a new problem with Tony. Stanton was sure that Gibbs's favorite past time was to make Tony feel like he was worth less than shit, and now he was defending him?

"Sorry boss," Wilson muttered, burying his head in his case file.

"Am I going to have to be on the lookout for assault charges on my partner?" Stanton asked, turning his chair to face Tony.

"Nah," Tony shrugged out. "I highly doubt that. Although, I do have a break on the case."

"Let's hear it, Tony," Gibbs encouraged, closing his file.

Stanton nearly fell out of his chair at the sound of Gibbs using Tony's preferred name.

"Are you both…feeling alright?" Stanton asked, his hands waving around to emphasize Tony and Gibbs.

"Yeah, why?" Gibbs questioned.

"Because you aren't talking like you have a stick shoved up your ass," Tony snarked, although he did throw Gibbs a smile at the same time.

"And you actually addressed him in a _friendly_ sarcastic way," Stanton pointed out to Tony. "I feel like I just entered the Twilight zone," Stanton said shaking his head.

"So, are we going to spend the day talking about our betterment of collaborative efforts, or are we going to focus on the case?" Gibbs asked sarcastically.

"I did some digging on one of our vics," Tony started, flipping through his case file until he found what he wanted. He grimaced at the picture, before tossing it into the middle of the table. "This guy, Carlos Revera went to school at Bethesda-Chevy-Chase High School."

Both Tony and Gibbs fought to keep their facial expressions neutral. B-C-C had been Tony's previous high school before Macy had taken him away. Gibbs felt his gut churn as he wondered how much of Tony's threat really did have something to do with the case.

"He failed three classes in 7th grade and had to repeat the year. Then, he repeated another year his freshman year of high school. If you do the math the kid was not 25, but 27. These records," Tony said throwing the case file into the middle to join the picture, "have been falsified."

"Upon realization, I dug further, and noticed little things that didn't add up. The files certainly hold up during an intense background check, hence military status, and you really would have to know where to look if you want to find the mistakes. Therefore, I wonder why he would choose to go into the military, what does the military have that he would falsify records for?" Tony walked over to stand between Stanton and Gibbs's seats.

Tony flipped through a couple of pages before pointing his finger down to the birth certificate. Gibbs and Stanton looked closely at the birth certificate, when both couldn't find anything unusual, they turned to Tony who was leaning patiently, still between them.

"Look at the father's name," Tony stated.

"It says Ricardo Revera," Wilson read aloud from the other side.

"Well, I looked up Ricardo Revera and the only one I found alive within a 50 mile radius at the time of birth was a two year old that was in the emergency room at the time of delivery," Tony stated. "Furthermore, upon examination of his mother's lineage, because they did provide an accurate name as mother, you can see that Ana Lopez's mother is a descendant of the Hernandez family, Mexico's most notorious known drug cartel family."

"Well I'll be damned," Stanton said amazed at Tony's detective work.

Gibbs sat back in his chair. First, he wondered why _he_ didn't catch it. After all, he had been investigating crimes a whole lot longer than Tony has. In addition, he was sure he had spent more hours combing through every piece of evidence they had than Tony who always showed up to work looking like he came straight from the bar. At the same time, he was proud because it was his son. The boy was smart, and he had a drive that he had never seen in any of the agents he has ever worked with.

"What's the next step then?" Gibbs asked, testing Tony.

"No comment about the methods of extraction of such information?" Tony questioned.

"I assume from the numerous bruises on your face, along with the pronounced limp when walking that your methods were less than orthodox," Gibbs stated dryly.

Tony's smirk faded. "I say we go to Carlos's hometown, look around, ask around, see if Carlos did grow up with a father and people just don't know how to spell a damn name. At the same time, look at any cases that seem similar to this one; look up any case having to do with the Herandez drug cartel."

"Do you know how long that will take?" Wilson huffed out.

"Then I suggest we start now," Tony said through gritted teeth.

"DiNozzo, you and me will go check it out," Gibbs stated standing from his chair.

Before anyone really had a chance to say anything else, Gibbs was already out the door and halfway out the precinct. Tony scrambled to get his file together, grabbing his jacket and limped after Gibbs, afraid that the man would leave him if he wasn't in the car by the time Gibbs started it. Wilson sat in his chair, throwing Stanton a confused look.

"I guess you and me have the cold cases," Stanton replied watching as Wilson's eyebrows scrunched in displeasure.

* * *

Tony barely shut the door before the car flew into motion, throwing the young man back into his seat. He bit back a groan of pain, squeezing his eyes shut as the motion jolted his very badly bruised ribs (he refused to believe they were broken, and since none had pierced his lung, he continued believing so). Father and son sat in silence for a good two blocks, unsure of what to say.

"You do realize that those neighbors are probably around the area of the house, right? Meaning, they could possibly recognize you," Gibbs questioned, swerving onto the on-ramp.

"You do realize that if you continue driving like this I _will_ puke in your car, right?" Tony managed to gulp out after swallowing roughly. "And they won't recognize me…" _My own father didn't recognize me, why should they?_

Gibbs glanced at Tony through the corner of his eye, noticing the pale color that usually adjourned the tanned face. Without thinking, Gibbs let off the gas pedal, slowing down to be of reasonable following distance from the car in front of them.

"So, have you got a better idea of how to handle Hernandez, besides just killing him?" Gibbs asked in a conversational tone.

The seat belt tightened at Gibbs' sudden stop causing Tony to yelp out in pain. "We're doing it," Tony wheezed out, unbuckling the seatbelt.

"I thought you said you'd get checked out by a doctor," Gibbs questioned watching as Tony rubbed his chest tenderly.

"I'm fine," Tony shrugged.

"Then put on your seatbelt, I don't want you to be thrown out the window," Gibbs ordered.

Tony glanced over darkly at Gibbs, "Four days ago you would have thanked God if I was thrown out that window."

"Four days ago you reminded me of my dead son," Gibbs countered.

Tony sighed as he reached for the seatbelt. "So what is it? Do you always treat people like they are a piece of shit?"

"Language," Gibbs scolded automatically.

Tony scoffed, "please, I learned that from you."

"I never swore in front of Kelly or you."

"Maybe never in front of Kelly, but you sure as hell swore around me," Tony stated. "Besides, no one else has a problem with the way I speak."

"I do."

"Sorry, but your parenting say was voided fifteen years ago when you told Macy to take me," Tony responded quickly.

Gibbs glanced over at Tony, pain flashing before his eyes. Quickly, he hid his pain by focusing on the road. Subconsciously, he sped up, swerving in and out of traffic, and consciously Tony let him. Nothing else was said for the duration of the trip and by the time Gibbs parked Tony was feeling pretty awful.

"Listen, Gibbs," Tony started.

"Forget about it. You're right. I overstepped my bounds, DiNozzo," Gibbs stated coolly.

Tony watched helplessly as Gibbs stepped out of the car, heading to the building. Gingerly, Tony got of the car, gasping as his ribs were jarred once more from the motion. Tony bit down as he forced himself to walk without a limp, pain shooting through his leg with each motion. By the time he reached the front door, his forehead was covered in sweat. He had to fight the wave of nausea that threatened to consume him as he gave Gibbs a friendly, reassuring grin. As nonchalantly as he could, Tony leaned against the side of the building, ringing the doorbell with his hand wrapped in ace band aid.

"Let me do the talking, you look like you're going to puke all over yourself," Gibbs said gruffly before turning so his back faced Tony.

Tony said nothing, afraid that Gibbs would be correct. Instead, he pushed off the wall, whimpering in pain as his body protested every movement. All of a sudden, the world blackened for two seconds, disorientating the young detective even further. Reflexively, he reached out for whatever he could grab hold of, and without thinking, Gibbs grabbed Tony's arm, wrapping an arm around his waist to steady the man.

"Tony?" Gibbs asked, cursing himself for showing concern.

"Sorry, won't happen again," Tony muttered once the spots cleared.

Gibbs allowed Tony to push off of him, his hand still hovering near the detective in case the situation repeated itself. "Really, I'm fine!" Tony exclaimed.

Dejectedly, Gibbs let his hand fall to his side, his body once again facing the closed door. "I don't think anyone's home," Gibbs stated ringing the doorbell once again.

About thirty seconds later a middle aged man answered the door, "May I help you?" the man asked while looking at his watch.

"Yes, I'm Special Agent Gibbs and this is detective DiNozzo, we're here to ask you some question about Carlos Revera," Gibbs stated, flashing his badge.

"Don't know a Carlos Revera, sorry," the man said turning around to close the door.

Gibbs pushed against the door, forcing the man to turn around. "I'm sorry, do you know a Carlos Lopez?"

"Carlos Lopez?" the man questioned. "Carlos, the little boy who used to live with his mom here, no?"

"Yeah, that one. We just want to know if you noticed a father around, maybe helping to raise him?" Tony asked from behind.

"No father, but his uncle was always around to help. Nice man. Very friendly," the man stated suddenly happy to talk. "When Carlos was young though his uncle died. I guess after that Ana couldn't make the payments anymore and they moved out."

"Where to?" Gibbs asked.

"Last I heard, across town, to Ana's sister's house," the man provided. "Listen, the high school gets out soon, and I have to pick up my son. Are we done?"

Gibbs and Tony exchanged looks. Simultaneously they put away the notepad each had produced while the man was talking. Tony nodded at the man, smiling forcefully as he stated that they had no more questions, but they may in the future. Gibbs thanked the man before handing him his card, telling him to call if he had any other information he could provide.

"What do you think?" Tony asked as they headed back to the car.

"How well into hiding did Fornell have you?" Gibbs questioned quietly, his eyes trained on the street.

"Pretty well. I moved around a lot anyways so in addition to it. Kept people guessing," Tony explained. "Why?"

"I think that we should start looking at this case as a personal one," Gibbs said glancing back behind him.

"What are you looking for? And I told you already, it won't interfere with your case," Tony explained.

"You really think that Hernandez and you and this is completely separate?"

Tony shrugged, "I'd like to."

"So you believe that both marines and navy killed in your jurisdiction on the night you were on call and the night I volunteered for is purely coincidence?" Gibbs scoffed out unconvinced.

"I don't believe in coincidences," Tony stated.

Gibbs sighed as he started the car, "neither do I…"

They drove in silence for a little while and Tony had just about fallen asleep when the sound of continuous horn blaring startled him. Acting on instincts, Tony reached for the gun in his holster, shrinking into the seat, attempting to peak at the back without giving whoever it was a clear shot. Gibbs on the other hand looked in the rearview mirror and paled lightly. Instead of speeding up, like Tony expected, Gibbs pulled over.

"What the fuck are you doing? Do you know them?" Tony questioned watching as one woman and two other men got out of the car. "Because what I see is one angry woman and two men looking ready to beat the shit out of this car with their bare hands."

"I was afraid this would happen," Gibbs sighed. "Stay here," he ordered snapping his seatbelt off.

"Who is that?" Tony questioned.

"Stephanie and her two brothers," Gibbs groaned.

"Who's Stephanie? And why does she look so mad?" Tony asked, putting the gun's safety back on.

"You ask a lot of questions," Gibbs muttered.

"**JETHRO, GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE NOW!**" Stephanie yelled, tapping on the window incessantly.

"She's pissed," Tony observed with a smirk.

"Yeah, she is," Gibbs confirmed.

"So, who is she?"

"My wife."

* * *

A/N: I told you guys I would write whenever I get the chance. My professors moved some stuff around and I had a big gap of time since I'm not leaving for break until tomorrow even though all my classes are done. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I especially loved all those long reviews you guys. They are soo encouraging. I told myself that I would sit down and get this chapter out ASAP while I still have time. Thanks soo much for your wonderful reviews. Please continue because they really do help keep this story going. We're starting to pick up pace here and it's a little bit harder for me to write the actual crime part of the show so you guys will have to just deal with me. I hope you guys enjoy and if I haven't said it enough, please continue to leave those reviews. I'll get to them and respond to each one individually when I'm home. Until then, I'll say thanks here.

Liz


	12. Chapter 10

Tony said nothing as he slammed the door to the government issued sedan shut, ignoring the spinning sensation that the sudden movement caused. He bit down on his tongue, hard, as Gibbs tried explaining the current situation between Stephanie and him away, oblivious to the pounding headache each word he spoke seemed to cause. Instead, Tony focused on walking straight, ignoring the growing black spot in his field of vision. It wasn't too hard to tune Gibbs out as his heart deafened everything, except for his heavy breathing.

"It happened real quick…" Gibbs continued unable to stop himself from making an even bigger fool of himself in front of his son.

"Damn it, I don't care!" Tony said whirling around stumbling a bit, causing Gibbs to stop dead in his track. "I don't care what you do with your life. You want to replace mom, then fine. It's your life. I want to figure out this case so we can all get back to the lives we were living; you with your lovely wife," Tony spat, "and me doing my thing. Is that a problem?"

Gibbs was taken aback as Tony huffed out in front of him. He glanced up to see Tony's dilated pupils, noticing for the first time the sweat that seemed to be pooling just under Tony's hairline. He made a grab for Tony's wrist, feeling the detective's pulse bounding through his button up shirt.

"Tony, are you feeling up for this?" Gibbs questioned as Tony swayed in front of him. "You're not looking too hot, kiddo…"

"I'm not a kid. And I'm fine. I've done worse," Tony said shaking off his father's hand. He turned and felt the world sway dangerously. He shut his eyes and counted to five because the last thing he needed was to have his father worry about him, or so he had convinced himself into thinking. As his head grew lighter, Tony haphazardly made his way to the tennis court bleachers, knowing that it had a perfect view of the front of the school.

"So, I guess it always goes back to drugs," Gibbs said changing the subject.

"My question is how big this is," Tony said nodding. "shit..." he muttered.

Gibbs had just enough time to move aside before Tony turned and hurled from the top bleacher. Gibbs barely had enough time to react, catching the young detective as his body just about gave way to join the puke that scattered the grass below.

"Shit, DiNozzo, you're no good to me if you're half dead on your feet!" Gibbs exclaimed as he subconsciously rubbed Tony's back soothingly.

"I'm fine," Tony said hoarsely. "It's fine, I feel better now. It's just something I ate…"

"Or that concussion I know you sure as hell have," Gibbs remarked. "Come on, we don't have to do this today."

Gibbs stood to leave, but Tony's weak grasp around his arm stopped him, pulling him back down next to the young detective.

"If I remember anything about how the school used to work, that crew right there coming out is who we're looking for," Tony said pointing to a group of teenagers.

Gibbs watched as the massive crowd of teens parted to make a path for the small group. The kids around them silenced and scattered as they passed and the security guards did nothing but stare as one of the teens, assumingly the head of the group, opened a small box and placed a cigarette in his mouth.

"They are going to come this way soon," Tony remarked.

True to Tony's prediction, the group came pass the other side of the tennis court, stopping just across from Gibbs and Tony. Gibbs noticed how Tony stiffened as they listened in on the not so quiet conversation.

"I got a call, Carlos won't be handling our money no more," the teen who lit the cigarette spoke out in Spanish.

Gibbs shook his head in frustration. Spanish was not a language he had taken time to fully learn and while he could follow some words, there was no way he would be able to follow an entire conversation in Spanish. He sighed and looked over at his son who was still listening, his facial expression molding into one of displeasure.

"Why not, Alex?" another teen asked, fishing for a cigarette of his own.

"Dead," Alex responded casually flicking the butt towards a passing vehicle. "My cousin said he had a plan, had some untaken business and Carlos was getting in the way…"

"Carlos is your brother…"

"Carlos was an idiot. He should have known!" Alex snapped out. "My cousin promised to take care of my mom. Carlos's death won't be for nothing. I just know we better sell what we have because whoever this next person is won't be as lenient as Carlos if we have left over products."

Gibbs waited until the group of five filed into two separate cars, started said cars, and turned onto the main road before turning to Tony. "You have any idea what they said?" Gibbs questioned.

"Yeah, and if I had anything left in my stomach I'd probably be sick again," Tony said darkly.

"You were right," Tony sighed. "We, I'm…this is because of me. That kid died because of me…"

"How you figure?" Gibbs followed Tony as Tony stumbled back towards the car.

Gibbs attempted to ignore the fact that he had to, more than once, reach out to steady the young detective. Tony's "fine" exterior was quickly deteriorating and by the time they made it to the car Tony was no longer attempting to keep his eyes open. The sweat beads had suddenly pooled together and was soaking Tony's shirt despite the undershirt beneath. Gibbs felt the alarm grow even more when Tony did nothing to swat away Gibbs' fingers as he loosened his son's tie.

"Tony, I think you need to go to the hospital," Gibbs said worriedly.

"No, signed out AMA earlier, I know what I'm doing," Tony said through gritted teeth. "Just need something to eat and then I'll be good as new. Need to check on those cases…"

Gibbs swore beneath his breath as Tony tried unbuckling his seat belt. He swatted the boy's fingers away taking note at how clammy they felt beneath his own. Gibbs reached for his phone as he fought the worry that was seemingly engulfing reasoning. Tony was quiet except for the moan that broke through his lips.

"Damn my head is pounding," Tony finally admitted.

"How hard did they hit you yesterday in exchange for that damn information?" Gibbs snapped out, the worry making his tone sharp.

"Doesn't matter. Nothing worse than I've had before," Tony sighed out.

"You keep saying that," Gibbs said with a shake of his head.

They were still an hour away from the station and traffic was bumper to bumper. NIS was closer, but there was nothing comfortable for Tony to sit on while Ducky performed an examination. Gibbs sighed as he slammed on the breaks once more. Tony lurched forward in protest, and Gibbs could not help the apology that slipped through his lips as he gently pushed Tony back into his seat.

Gibbs hit speed dial and listened impatiently as he was greeted with the standard NIS greeting. He jabbed in Ducky's extension as he maneuvered the car to make a u-turn at the median break.

"Hello, autopsy," Ducky greeted.

"Duck…you busy?" Gibbs asked getting off at the first exit he could.

"Why as a matter of fact, no Jethro. I was just packing up for the day! I got a call from Stephanie, I hear that she ran into you earlier?"

"Yeah, she accused me of cheating, hit on the back of the head with a bag, and threw down divorce paper as her brothers pulled her away. Great meeting," Gibbs quipped sarcastically.

Ducky chuckled, "Well, Jethro, can you say you blame her. She was forced to spend Christmas without her husband…"

"I saw it coming, but that's not why I was calling, Duck," Gibbs said turning onto a side street. "Remember that ridiculous detective?"

"But of course, Jethro!"

"Yeah, well, can you meet me at my house? The kid is not doing so hot," Gibbs turned and gently made his way through an alley.

"Well with rush hour…it may take a while," Ducky warned grabbing his things.

"That's fine. Stephanie is staying with one of her brothers so she won't be at the house. Just walk in," Gibbs said flipping the phone shut.

Gibbs looked over at Tony who had taken up an awkward half fetal position in the seat. He was sweating, but he was pale and cold to touch. Tony had been in and out earlier and even throughout the short conversation with Ducky his status had deteriorated even further. He gave the man's arm a reassuring squeeze as he opened his phone to dial another number.

"Fornell," Gibbs rolled his eyes at the man's abrupt greeting.

"I think you might want to come over," Gibbs stated finally turning onto his street.

"Why?" Fornell questioned, but immediately grabbed his keys and made his way back towards the car he had parked just ten minutes earlier.

"Tony, he came into work all beat up, and he just got progressively worse. I just called Ducky, he's making a house call, but I think he should have someone familiar with him…"

"What happened?" Fornell demanded. "If you hurt him Gibbs I'll kill you myself. Boy's been through enough."

"Wasn't me," Gibbs stated throwing the car in park. "Got some information though, have a feeling that this case we're working will become an FBI case sooner or later though. Does the name Hernandez ring a bell?"

"I'll be there in ten minutes."

Gibbs flipped the phone close once more before falling back heavily on the seat. He turned his head to glance at the detective once more. Once again, Gibbs found himself cursing himself for not realizing who Tony was earlier. Clearly everything about him screamed Tony…_his_ Tony. Everything. Now, as the boy sat shivering in his car, brown hair matted on pale skin Gibbs questioned just how much of this could he have prevented.

He hadn't even known of Tony's identity for more than twenty four hours and already the boy was hurt. He had failed to protect him when he was a teenager, and Gibbs found himself fighting back a tear as he questioned his ability to protect him now. Could he do it even if he failed as a father before? He was already off to a bad start; Tony was already laying in his car, only semi aware of his surroundings.

"Tony," Gibbs called out gently.

"My dad used to call me that," Tony mumbled out clearly incoherent.

"Do you think you can help me get you into the house?" Gibbs questioned as he shifted to fully look at Tony.

"Yeah," Tony stated automatically, without thought.

Gibbs scoffed as Tony reached out blindly for the door handle, missing completely. Gibbs got out of the car and jogged to the other side. He glanced into the window, noticing that most of Tony's weight was resting against the door. Carefully bracing himself for Tony's prone form, he slowly opened the door, slipping an arm under the younger man's armpit. Gibbs' practically lifted the detective out of the car, carefully setting him on his good foot, all without Tony's full knowledge. The sun was setting and the night wind sent some snow blowing across both men's faces, but neither one was aware.

"Tony, you're going to have to help me now," Gibbs instructed.

"Got it, dad," Tony mumbled.

Gibbs beamed with pride at the title. Unconsciously, Gibbs held himself higher as he supported more of his son's weight. While the circumstances were less than ideal, Tony had called him dad. He hadn't been referred to as "dad" in years. His own children were believed dead, and now Tony had called him dad.

"There you go son," Gibbs said leading Tony through the front door and towards the living room. "I'll be right back."

Tony said nothing as Gibbs took the stairs two at a time to grab Tony a blanket and a damp towel as well as a dry one. Tony was quiet as Gibbs wiped his forehead and did not protest when Gibbs lifted his head slightly to put a pillow down. The worry in Gibbs was increasing by the second as wondered how Tony had deteriorated so quickly in the span of a day. His gut churned as he sat back and waited for his friends to come. He watched as Tony drifted in and out of consciousness, clearly unaware of his surroundings. He hadn't been able to get much out of Tony when they first got into the car and the reasoning as to why Tony thought it was his fault Carlos was dead was still unknown to Gibbs. He pieced enough of it together to know that this was about the case in which his family had died over many years ago. He wasn't able to provide appropriate justice to his family back then, but watching as Tony turned restlessly in the small couch he vowed that he would do Tony right this time around.

* * *

A/N: Hey guys this is late, but not for lack of trying. I've been at this chapter on and off for the last semester, and yes, I time my life by semesters. It's summer and I promised everyone that I wouldn't give up on this story; more importantly, I promised myself. It's not a great chapter by any means, I'm sorry. I'm just trying to get back into the swing of writing, and for the first time in months words seemed to flow out. Reviews for "When Family Call" really inspired me to write. I know I shouldn't care what people think and all that, but the encouragement you guys bring is next to none. I'm so thankful for all of your reviews. The ones that flow through even months after this has been updated was a continual reminder of this story and the vision I have for it.

As stated before, it's reviews that keep me going for better or for worse. They are appreciated.

Thanks once more,

nighttime_writer aka Liz


End file.
